Thread: A Strange Man

Flicking through photo album happily
Looking at pictures of friends and family
One of which showed a young cuddling pair
The man tall and slim, with mane of blonde hair
In radiant warmth he looked down toward
His brunette companion in love assured.

Enveloped in a perfect partnership
They seemed to be joined at head, heart and hip
Their happiness not easily surpassed
How tragic that it was doomed not to last.
What gave that photo bitter poignancy?
The strange man in the shot I’d once called “me”.

Wow, this is very good. I don't have anything constructive add but I thought I would pop in here and you let you know that.

I agree, this is really quite good. You've a fine ear, Brian. Your meter is a joy read aloud. Only nit is the caps every line. I very much enjoyed this for its bittersweet content. Thanks heaps for sharing, I hope you'll be doing so again soon.

Best,
Lisa

Watto C and CD, I'm delighted at your replies. This is a very heart on sleeve poem and I've worked hard to get it right. Thank you for your time and attention.
(Initial caps are a perhaps an English Convention),

Brian

Thanks for the poem, Brian. Brings to mind some similar reflections for me, personally.

One thought: on the last line of the first stanza, is a syllable missing before 'assured'? Speaking it aloud, it sounded like 'quite assured' or 'so assured' might keep the consistent rhythym intact. Of course, I do sometimes get caught in a rhythym rut and have difficulty seeing how it might work.

Watto JB, first thanks for your time and comments.

Re this line-His/ bru/nette/ com/pan/ion/ in/ love/ a/(s)sured. In my North London Accent it would have 10 syllables/beats.

Finally it's great when your reader empathises with your poem's message.

Brian

Here's to greater and mutual understanding and empathy!

Enjoyed this one Brian, very nice.

Watto JL and G,
Thank you both for your time and comments.

Somebody asked me what watto meant? There's a comic character called Bertie Wooster who greets people with What-Ho. It's become like a personal signature,

Brian