Thread: ABC's of How To Be An Artist Type (WARNING: One vulgar moment)

You are a doll on God's own shelf;
play dress up with yourself.
Personality is a second skin.
Be sure to shed it regularly,
and when you do, do it proudly,
so the other dolls can hear
that Tuesday was just a prototype;
Wednesday you is new and improved.

The body is a billboard;
peddle your image like snake oil,
but not the kind sold on other corners
because other artists are fashion whores
and you are not (but there is potential).

Your opinion must be the loudest asshole in the room
(and make sure it smells; speech without stink has no soul.
Art is about leaving your memory in their nose).

Audiences are easily impressed by nonsense.
Populate your work with name checks
and reference jargon from an index
(it works, even out of context!)

Sample (see the Matrix):
This example is not an example,
but a simulacra embedded in a failed metanarrative
of post-modern solipsism from the mind of a relativist
wandering through the wreckage of the real.
Word to Lyotard and Baudrillard.

Artifice is your two-faced friend.
In absence of substance, perfect style.
Use the hipsters as a model,
and when challenged, plead irony in defense.

Finally, never forget that art is a game.
Play it like you mean to pretend.

I freaking love this, Edge, bravo!

I really enjoyed this, though it could do with a trimming, there are so many golden nuggets, my fave being

but a simulacra embedded in a failed metanarrative
of post-modern solipsism from the mind of a relativist

Brian

It's unfortunate that a person with your sort of talent seems so steeped in bitterness and resentment of others.

Gracias CD.

Brian, I hope it is the construction of that stanza you liked and not the content.

Scarlett, it is also unfortunate that I have many good reasons to feel bitterness and resentment towards others, including the targets of this piece.

Watto EW

"Brian, I hope it is the construction of that stanza you liked and not the content."

This must be an ironic comment because otherwise it would be like a painter hoping that I wasn't impressed by the picture they'd painted but loved the way that they'd slapped the pigment on.

Brian

Wow. I'm late to the party. Not sure I know WHO this is directed toward, nor do I need to. It's really good stuff. You've managed to take a sniper's aim at some of the stupidity that goes on in the name of art. That's why, when someone considers themselves an artist, they're immediately suspect in my book. It's one thing for someone else to think your work is art, another thing to tout it yourself. I'm just a writer. It's all I'll ever be. Sometimes I write poetry, sometimes it's fiction... and when it works, it works. I don't fancy myself an artist. And someone slap me if I ever do.

J

This is a burning piece of work Edge. The acid is well regurgitated. Very well done.

BRN, it is very possible to admire technique in the absence of strong content (the reverse also holds true). Hence my previous comment. The stanza you liked consists of two famous names and a smattering of existentialist and postmodernist buzzwords randomly cobbled together as an example of the sort of shit I was spleening about in the preceding stanza. My point was, and is, that using these condensed, grand philosophical concepts do not inherently lend depth or life to a piece; removed from context, they are totally vacant and meaningless, serving only to dazzle an audience (and the authors own ego) with smart-sounding ideas that add little, if anything, to the work, let alone the perceptions or emotions of the reader/listener. You kind of prove my point about the dazzling.

JP, we are on the exact same page. To a T, slapping and all.

Thanks Apple.

Very acidic Edge, and you do that so well. Though I do think you've surpassed yourself with this one. You've put the 'type' solidly in the crosshairs here and with no mercy. Well done.