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Thread: Last and Least

  1. #1
    Scrivener jpatricklemarr's Avatar
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    Last and Least

    last and least
    the little beasts
    who fight for our attention
    cannot attain
    their longed-for fame
    and pass on without mention

    first and best
    the doubly blessed
    those haughty lords and ladies
    will first and best be
    ‘fore the rest
    to pace the floor of Hades


    Note: This is an old, old piece of mine. It's already appeared in print, but I'm always willing to re-edit. If it works for George Lucas... oh, wait...
    Last edited by jpatricklemarr; 12-07-2010 at 09:24 AM.
    J. Patrick Lemarr
    www.jpatricklemarr.com

    Author of I Am A Broken House
    www.iamabrokenhouse.com

  2. #2
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
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    I love the rhythm and pace of this and I especially love the first stanza, Jeff.

  3. #3
    Scrivener jpatricklemarr's Avatar
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    Thanks, Gumby.
    J. Patrick Lemarr
    www.jpatricklemarr.com

    Author of I Am A Broken House
    www.iamabrokenhouse.com

  4. #4
    WF Veteran Foxee's Avatar
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    I like it just as is. It reads like one of those little gems that you find in an old book with a nugget of wry wisdom in the stanzas.

    Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. -Sir Francis Bacon

    ArdusOriginal Fantasy RPG


  5. #5
    Scrivener Verum Scriptor's Avatar
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    Same as those above me... I enjoyed it, no changes needed.

  6. #6
    Poetry Moderator Chester's Daughter's Avatar
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    Have you no mercy, sir? Font, font, font. If I have to put my glasses on, the font is not reader friendly. Initially, I stumbled over S2, L4, but I believe it was more me than the piece. I think the repetition of first and best threw me a bit, but after multiple reads, it rolled wonderfully. My only nit is the caps, you abandon them at the end of S2, I think you should either keep the caps throughout, or take out the unnecessary ones for the sake of consistency. Wonderful little nugget of truth, my dear.

  7. #7
    Scrivener jpatricklemarr's Avatar
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    Thanks all!

    Lisa, all the problems you mentioned stemmed from me pasting from an old Word doc that had not yet been edited. So, bad font and weird caps. Anyway, I appreciate you mentioning it because I posted without realizing it retained those flaws. Will fix them right away.
    J. Patrick Lemarr
    www.jpatricklemarr.com

    Author of I Am A Broken House
    www.iamabrokenhouse.com

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