Thread: Old Dress

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I really like this line: "tools young boys use to build a man."

Although i got hung up for a second on the previous line. The second stanza has me identifying with one girl but the third suggests you are talking about boys and girls in general, which contradicted the second for me.

Overall I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Thank you Corey, I've gone back and changed it a bit, hoping to clarify that.

I love this, Cindy. I could write fifteen paragraphs and it wouldn't be sufficient to say how much. Your use of Braille is sheer genius, every one of those nicks has a memory attached to it, lovely. As you are fond of saying: You're preaching to the choir, Sister.", and I love what I'm hearing. My only nit was closing the book, I prefer to think of it as beginning a new volume in a treasured series, ugh, us Moms never learn. Exceptional work, love.

Watto G

This is a very evocative and thought provoking piece which bears many a re-read.

-Footnote-"In hers are" The British and the American are divided by a common language. I'm not sure what is meant by a "Dresser" in the US. In the UK it's a term emplying open shelving. Things would be placed on them and would be in the open. However if it were a chest of drawers then I would understand.

(PS I'm sorely tempted to split the above into lines and swear blind it's not prose but a poem!)

Brian

Thank you Lisa, as a mom, I knew you'd see what I was saying here. And you're right in that we do open a new volume in a treasured series, but I do still miss those childhood days sometimes.

Brian, thank you for commenting also. Dressers in the U.S. is a catch all term for a chest of drawers. Sometimes the terminology does get in the way doesn't it? Thank you again.

I love the title and knew I was in for something wonderful when I saw it. Your poem expresses sparse and bare, but it's vivid, your emotion and memory fill those drawers in a very tender way. The wistful flavor comes through.

You made me tear up, Gumby, how dare you. The fact that my kids are going to grow up and be gone is something I selfishly long for in the worst moments but really struggle with and am unhappy about most of the time.

tools young boys use to build a man.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant line.

Thank you Sondra, your words are very sweet to my ears. I do feel very wistful at times when I look back at the past.

Foxee, I know exactly how you feel. There were times I would have opened the door for them to leave (almost)but now looking back, I get very weepy sometimes. I know you know this already, but treasure the moments, they're gone before you know it. Thank you for reading and commenting here.

"tools young boys use to build a man." is a very powerful line and does well at the center of the poem. I feel that all my life I have been building the perfect man I want to be, so this line strikes true with me.

Thank you twopenbit. Having three boys and only one girl, I'm probably more familiar with the raising of boys and how they really do seem to build a man. For me, my daughter was easier to understand emotionally than my sons.

This worked on two levels for me, because I still have that drawer, with practically those same items from my childhood -- the pocket knife is universal, I think. I know my wife has old notes and letters from her teens. Maybe it's just me, but I wanted to keep those relics from childhood, to hold on to little pieces of it. And mine are little now, but I feel wistful when I see how fast it's all going and I can at least imagine what it will be like when they leave the nest.

I like poetry to which I can relate personally, but I think this would strike a chord with just about anyone -- and that's what is successful about it. That and the strong imagery and tactile quality of it. Nice job, Gumby.

First of all, what a lovely feeling associated with this poem. It flows nicely and guided me into a sentimental appreciation for my own child, and the shared time we have now. Thanks for that.

A couple of things that came to mind that may be completely irrelevant, but thought I'd share: A couple instances of the metaphors used seemed inconsistent, though not unpleasant. The term 'empty graves' is quickly followed by descriptions of what fills the dressers, making the word 'empty' seem out of place to me. And for some reason, the introduction of the book metaphor at the end seemed sudden, but I'm at a loss to understand why. Perhaps if there was a thread of thought introducing the book idea earlier that is closed towards the end? Of course, I'm not certain on either of these comments usefulness.

A very pleasant read.

Thank you Joseph. Yes, I still have some of my stuff too, my mom sent it to me years after I left home and I've kept it in my 'grown up dresser'. Glad you enjoyed this one, and that it worked for you.

JBlanton, thank you so much for the read and comment. Glad you enjoyed this one, even if it didn't all work for you.

The term 'empty tombs' was meant to convey loss, even though there isn't a physical death. The dressers are empty of everything except for these few relics of childhood that they left behind in the bottoms and backs of the drawers.
The book being closed, refers to the stanza above the final one, where the story of their childhood is told in the nicks and dents of the dressers.

As for your comments being useful, of course they are, as they help me to see where I might make things a bit clearer. Again, thank you.

Nice Cindy. I could learn a lot from you.