Thread: The Relatives are Coming (Edit 3)

Drag your brother Bobby
from beneath his freaking bed.
He knows he has to greet them
if he plans on getting fed.
The relatives are coming
and we all know the drill
make sure you take your Pepto
and your special pill.
The first to soothe your stomach
the latter to calm your nerves
modern meds will help you
hug the pricks with verve.

All your hiding spots are banned
and Dad's padlocked the basement
you can't sneak out the windows
as he's nailed shut every casement.
So kindly sheath your butts
in your fancy hazmat gear
the screaming of the cuckoo
warns the creeps are nearly here.
And someone get outside
to un-boobytrap that gate
my hat's off to the genius
who used the ten as bait.

Your homemade mine would murder
a mere two or three at best
and leave you four enduring
feigned grief from all the rest.
Good try my little lovelies
I give credit when it's due
next time a plan is hatched
make sure none are left to mew.
A thousand smackeroos
to the kid who finds a way
to take them out in one fell swoop
and save Thanksgiving Day.

The relatives abound
all obnoxious and moronic
if only you were legal
I'd share my gin and tonic.

wow lol, i sense you don't take to kindly to your relatives? either way i enjoyed it to my utmost potential :O laughed all the way through. lol i especially enjoyed this part

the screaming of the cuckoo
warns the creeps are nearly here.
And someone get outside
to un-boobytrap that gate
my hat's off to the genius
who used the ten as bait.

rofl

That's funny.

Lisa, you did it again! You can take any topic and charm me with your humour. I just love your ending!

The relatives abound
all obnoxious and moronic
if only you were legal
I'd share my gin and tonic.

Greate pacing and funny as hell. If I were a member of your family, give me a vodka and tonic!

Oh, if the relatives only knew! Glad you decided to give this one and edit and let us enjoy it once more, I still see this being the perfect thing to have up on the fridge, making me smile each time I see it, while 'enjoying' the relatives company.=D>

I'm so glad I'm your friend. You're pretty, bordering on scrumptious, you are ultra intelligent, a real whiz at everything, your feet are tiny and delicate as well as your hands. Your breath smells like roses and I think if you ran for the office of President or maybe, queen of the world, you'd get it. You don't own a gun, do you?
Wishfully your BFF
Sondra

Ps I'll bet you make the best turkey ever,

PSS Did I mention your sweet disposition? (hugs)

Dear Chiefspider, I am so happy I had you rolling and that happens to be my favorite part also. I love my relatives dearly, as long as they are on the other end of the phone at least six states away and my battery light is blinking. Just kidding, I actually do love a few of them.



Dear Isaiah, Thank you, funny is such a lovely word.



Dear Laurie, Thrilled you enjoyed, love. If you were a member of my family, I'd hand you the entire bottle of vodka and give you the key to the basement then sneak down to join you. They are not nearly as obnoxious when you're stone cold drunk.



Dear Cindy, It's amazing what you find to fix when you haven't looked at piece in a year. I will always be very partial to this piece. Jeff was finally able to drill a hole in my cinder block of a head and drum the da dum into my mind with this one last year. It was the first time I was able to embrace meter with some kind of understanding which was a monumental event for me. Lol, again, naughty girl, you've the stones of a giant to display it on the fridge, Lord knows the lazy things love to come into your kitchen and supervise. I like to hide mine in the cupboard.



Dear Sondra, You have summed me up so perfectly, dahlink, of course you may be my best friend. Seriously, love, you had me rolling. And no, I don't own a gun, but I have a lovely collection of chef's knives, each sharper than my tongue. I think knives are a much more personal route to take when making a point, don't you? My dry cleaner loves me.


Happy Thanksgiving guys!


All my best, always,
Lisa