Thread: Mama's Thanksgiving Meltdown

No need for the giant roaster,
a pie pan will suffice this year,
I'm thrusting my diet on them all.
Precious Nico, where are you, dear?

Mama's got a surprise for you,
be a doll, and come here, if you please.
Step up haughtily onto my finger,
it's time to lay you out on a bed of peas.

The turkey's been tossed in trash,
for infused birds are full of fat.
But you'll be coming to dinner
and quite silent for once, at that.

At just twenty minutes per pound,
you'll be golden brown in fifteen.
Now allow me to pluck your feathers,
stop your pecking or I'll get mean.

Oh crap, the kiddies are coming,
and I think I spy hemp in their hands.
You'd better pretend we're playing nice,
because they just won't understand.

You're a cheeky beaked bossy bully,
and our nation is morbidly obese.
I can off both birds with a single stone
to bring abused bodies needed relief…
`


Quit nipping my lip, you wicked winged imp,
and you four bad brats best untie my wrists.
I simply can't ken how the lot of you
believe I can cook all trussed up like this.

Losing that pesky parrot plus lipids
would make an awesome Thanksgiving bash,
but it's very clear I'm outnumbered here…


go get the damn turkey out of the trash.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY! (except Nico, of course)



I needed to get this up while it was still topical, but I have tons of older stuff to catch up on. Miss Melissa let an entire marking period worth of homework pile up, in of all classes, Poetry. Crazy teacher assigned the poor kids a sonnet as well as a sestina, and missy won't allow me to help. I'll get up to speed tomorrow when she goes back to school.

Oh my God, you are so funny. I'm laughing as I type. Poor Nico. He should thank the lord for strength in numbers. You are such a good momma, just stay out of the infused turkey. Peas and cranberrie sauce is all you get. By the way, what is that recipe you have for roast parrot? Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Lisa

Ahhh thanks for the Thanksgiving laugh, I needed it. Poor Nico, though I know he rules the roost and you would never harm a feather on his royal body. You merely exist to be the throne upon which he sits, and the beast of burden for him to ride. Hope you have a happy Turkey Day.

I always feel a little guilty as I laugh my way through some of your poems that I'm one of the very few who get to read them. If you aren't publishing these you need to!

Loved this, though Nico's doubtless too tough to eat.

I don't even know how you'd stuff something so small. And Foxee is correct... he'd be too tough to eat... unless you brine him first.

J

rofl, i love it !, so much in fact i had to read it twice. a job well done

Sorry for the delay, my lovelies, pack of savages that we are, we figured out a way to injure Matt's supposedly indestructible MacbookPro. That makes two dead computers and one limping along.
Needless to say, Matt is not pleased with the lot of us.

Dear Sondra, I am so grateful for your laughter, thank you. The diet's medically enforced upon me, and I hate it. Today I throw caution (and perhaps some intestines) to the wind and I indulge, I'll do a sit up tomorrow, yeah right. lol. I don't have a recipe for roast parrot, I'm winging it. Happy Thanksgiving, my sweet lady of the dark.



Dear Cindy, LOL! You clever fiend, I laughed so hard I thought my belly would burst open, rules the roost and beast of burden, indeed. Poor Nico? I think not, poor Lisa is more like it. It's like having a two year old, literally, and one that will never, ever grow up. What was I thinking? I love His Highness, he is so intelligent and cute it's easy to forgive his faults. Happy T Day, love, and thank you so much for that laugh.



Dear Foxee, Guilty as charged and sentenced to a giggle. You certainly returned the favor with too tough to eat, everyone's afraid of him. Thank you, hon, what a kind thing to say. I'm still very leery of rejection but I am happy to say that Motley Press has accepted two of my pieces for publication in their wonderful E-zine for which I am very grateful. Now that I've put my tootsies in the water and they weren't chomped off by shark bearing a big fat no, you suck, perhaps I won't be so submission shy. Happy Thanksgiving, love, I pray all is well with you and yours, and I'm honored to have you in one of my threads.



Dear Jeff, I tried to brine him last night, I'm now missing two fingers thanks to you, Preacherman, and the only way that bird will be stuffed is if he passes before I do. Just imagine, a docile and quiet Nico, now that's something to be thankful for. Just kidding. Happy Thanksgiving, my dear friend and spiritual rock.



Dear Chiefspider, Welcome to the forum, and a word of advice, rolling on the floor is unsafe for spiders. I'm thrilled you enjoyed, hon, Happy Thanksgiving.


A blessed Thanksgiving to all. I have so much to be grateful for, this makes the third November feast I shouldn't be here for. Please know that you have made all of my borrowed moments all the more special.

All my best, always,
Lisa

I unfortunately don't know a thing about poetry, so I can't give you a constructive critique. But if knowing that I'm still smiling and giggling as I type this helps, then there you go.

Bravo, Lisa. Kudos. I really enjoyed this work.

Dear Hawke, Knowing you were smiling and giggling as you typed makes this a very successful effort in my eyes, and that's more than enough for me. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I am elated you enjoyed. Hope your Thanksgiving was filled with love and laughter.

Best,
Lisa

I'm late! Thanksgiving is over. I've been thinking about buying a Parrot of my own then decided against it after reading your poem. Ooops, I rhymed. I got to laughing per usual when reading your work. You're good for my gloomy spirit!

Dear Laurie, I'm even later, Nico was far more filling than I imagined and I couldn't pry myself from the couch until now. Seriously, love, you know I've had stuff going on and I apologize for the delay. I have tons of pieces to catch up on. Slow and steady wins the race. Glad you enjoyed, hon. Don't buy a parrot, unless you love aggravation. They are messy, loud and quite bossy. When I said two year old I meant it, always whining, getting into stuff they shouldn't touch and they need to be babysat constantly. Unless you keep them locked up, which I think is mean, but even then you have the mess and constant mind numbing chatter. Gee, how I love Nico. lol. Happy for that laugh, love.