Thread: Spindrift: to David

Spindrift: to David



Silent night and holy holy holy
you lie in a cloud of breath
taking my perfume inside

The sea breathes in
and lets go
to spend itself upon the shore
then gathers back again
to spend once more

Silent night and unaware
that I watch so deep
you breathe as the sea
with soft spindrift sighs in your release

The shadow you
not bathed in moonlight on our bed
rises from your sleeping eyes
and gathers round my heart
It finds my bones
and smoothes with smoky fingers
then nestles warm
and familiar there

I bend to you
to kiss your fingertips
and your sweet eyes
then lie back and listen to the waves

The sea breathes in
and lets go
to spend itself upon the shore
then gathers back again
to spend once more

This piece was "As magic as a magic thing and lovely as love." Really, really beautiful. Deep without being melodramatic, sweet without seeming saccharin...you've pulled off quite the trick. I think the best love poems come from a place of nakedness and transparency that can be difficult to craft into such a lovely poem as this. Well done. I would say your muse owes you a great deal of affection for immortalizing him and your love for him so.

J

Jeff is right, this is very beautiful and vulnerable. Well done Sondra.

I have to agree: this was a very touching piece. The fourth stanza was my favorite: I love the imagery.

Thank you jpatrick for such sweet words. I wrote this over 20 years ago. He died in December of last year. You said, "I would say your muse owes you a great deal of affection for immortalizing him and your love for him so." We were separated for over 20 years, but I know he loved me all that time.

Cindy and Damien, thank you, I'm so glad the love I felt for him reflected in this poem.

my best Sondra

Sondra, love, I am so sorry, to be fourth in replying to a piece posted "just for me" breaks my heart. Melissa's had the computer all weekend. Have you no mercy, milady? This packed a good old fashioned one two. This is exceptionally excellent, you got me to slip into your skin and feel and in doing so made me remember how it was so long ago. I don't particularly like remembering what I no longer possess, which is why I avoid love poems. I know I said it's almost impossible for us to pin love down and display it under glass, but you've done so very admirably. This piece is so lovely and heartfelt, true love there, oh yes, and for me, who only indulges in anger, to be moved so monumentally speaks volumes. Your David makes mine look like a flea. And on top of it, you used the sea, which I love. The line "with soft spindrift sighs in your release" is to die for. You've proven to me love can be captured on a page. My belated condolences for your loss, love, I am truly sorry, but am elated that you were able to feel this way. Thank you so much for obliging me and sharing this whisper of love, it revitalized a piece of me long dead. I'll never write one, you know, somehow I don't think I love you, now I hate your guts and hope you drop dead would make a good poem. I doubt I'll ever come across a piece so aptly describing love, not mushy, beautiful in its honest simplicity, completely real. I bow to you, milady.

Warmest,
Lisa

Sondra, on the one hand I feel like I put my foot in my mouth (I thought that taste was familiar!!), but on the other, I'm glad you shared your loss. As someone all too acquainted with loss, and as one who has known the warm grace of good friends, you have my sympathy... and an understanding ear should you ever need to bend it.

J