Thread: Upside-Down

I wish I could read
a book upside-down

I could prop open a book
on my desk upside-down

I'd pretend to work
while I read upside-down

Travelling 'round the world
reading upside-down.

When the CEO comes
with one eye leery at my book
I would look puzzled and say,
"Hey, I ain't readin'.
Look, how can I read
when the book's upside-down!"

That'd be neat.

good stuff

is this for fun...

If not I would change the wording a bit

Hi, Eli. Please -- I'd like to see how it can be improved. Thanks.

Originally Posted by vvcarpio

I wish that I could read
a book that was upside-down (I would add words like this)

I could prop open the book (brings more focus to the book)
on top of my desk upside-down (more formal and understandable)

I would pretend to work
while I was reading upside-down (more bounce)

Travelling 'round the world (you should just make it "around" it swings better)
reading upside-down.

When the CEO comes
with one eye leery at my book
I would look puzzled and say,
"Hey, I ain't readin'.
Look, how can I read
when the book's upside-down!"

That'd be neat.

Thoughts?

Hi, Eli. Thank you for the suggestions. I think, however, that although they make the poem more grammatically complete, the poem loses the boredom I felt when I wrote it, which is about half of what the poem was about. The cadence also sounds different.

I guess in that sense, you probably made the suggestions because I didn't answer your initial question which is, is this for fun? I'd say yes it was.

If anyone thinks otherwise, I'd like to know. Thanks.