Thread: Snow

I stand on an icy cliff looking at the rising sun


Chills sweep over me and I sob over what I have done


It’s the way the clouds form in the sky that makes me cry


The new sun dawns a better life just like the black sky


The cold wet tears stream down my face


I know that my heart shouldn’t race


The tenderness of the sky tells me I shouldn’t hide


The ironic warmth of the high tells me I can’t die


There is no telling where I’ll go


But I’ll get to walk in the snow


Just like the sun a new


I am beginning too

Liked this, Ceremony....but unless you are a Chilean miner you might want to change the in to on in the opening sentence.

Your hook came with the second sentence and I wanted to know what he/she had done. (Not sure if I did though)

The new sun dawns a new life just like the rolling sky (Find another word for one of them)

The cold wet tear stream down my face (A cold wet tear streamed down my face)

There is no telling of where I’ll go (I would leave out the of)

But I’ll get to walking in the snow (walk)

I am a beginning too (a beginning)

thanks for the revisions. I don't tell the reader what the characters done, i want to leave it to their imagination. is that bad? lol

I am laughing...no, it's not bad, but I was hoping for some juicy ending....like maybe she killed her husband or something...lol