Thread: Our Point by the Sound

It was the bleeding red
in the sunset
reminding me
of our hearts,
like holed socks
once left lone
no longer fit for wear;
left by unfit lovers

It was the azure
rising from the Sound
red turned to pink
like a baby’s cheeks
reminding me
of my youth
with you,
when skies were blue
during a rain’s torrent

It was the tendril clouds
rooting us to new ground,
the underearth stirring
simply because
we stood
withstood the years.

We made
pillows of the billows
and kissed,
undaunted
by
decades
of
severance

Reverence
was not gone.

　
　

　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

　
　
　
　

　
　
　
　
　
　

Very romantic, sounds like a long lost love has come back to life. I do sense some sadness here though.
This one is my favorite.

It was the azure
rising from the Sound
red turned to pink
like a baby’s cheeks
reminding me
of my youth
with you,
when skies were blue
during a rain’s torrent

I do sense some sadness here though.

Oh, I think it might be jinxed! Of course, you know I'm kidding. I'm very interested in hearing where sadness is detected. Would be of great help to me to get your feedback, elaborating. Cindy, thank you very much for reading and pointing out you favorite stanza. Laurie

Laurie,

I know I said this before, but this poem is exceptional, one of your best, no the best. A love poem of two long lost loves who've found new ground. My favorite verse:

It was the tendril clouds
rooting us to new ground,
the underearth stirring
simply because
we stood
withstood the years.

You withstood some long, lost years but the respect still remains, and that is not an easy thing to do. Tell me more.

Cindy

Cindy, thank you so much. You sited the stanza which I think best gets across that two lives, separated, were not easy ones. I wanted to convey the tender, throughout. The two, re-united, standing on firm ground together at last. The "underearth" rejoicing beneath our feet. It was quickly established that the respect still remained. I expect to be more inspired! Being that this was my first love poem, I struggled a bit. But finally the product. However, I will not be abandoning my dark contemplative verse! Laurie

Only the first stanza Laurie, that's where I feel some sadness. From there on it rises up into a kind of hopeful joy. So glad to see love grow.

Oh, yes. I can see that standing on it's own it is rather sad but I wanted to allude to the two sad backgrounds of the lovers in order that their joy be realized.

You know love poems are not my thing, Laurie, but thanks to your abundant ability, this one did not gag me with gush. The sadness of the first stanza is an excellent opener to enhance the joy of the reunion. I loved S3 in its entirety. The punctuation needs some tweaking, but I'm at a loss as to exactly what needs to be done, although a pause after stood is definitely in order. My only other suggestion, which is only a matter of personal preference, for some reason I would rather the last line read Reverence remained, I can't say why, I just do. I'm thrilled for you, love.

Thank you, Lisa. Love poems are not my thing either. I guess this was more about the tenderness of re-union. I know I have to go over that punctuation. And I'm re-thinking the last line.