Thread: "Forever"

The fire-lights singe the blood-stained sky,
as the madman sings-
he's out of tune-
the backdrop flicks to weirdish-blue
with cloudy claws.
And the perfect woman burps

the underhand, unsatisfying ugliness
of an ex-lover's lips,
like downy cushions,
a sterile release:

nothing, nowhere, never;
to substitute "forever".

I like it. I had trouble with the clairty, but I liked it. I also enjoyed the last stanza, having that connection to the title and poem was so obvious that it sent chills down my body a little.

I also like the imagery in this poem like "cloudy claws" and such.

The only thing is clarity, I didn't fully get the poem. Was that of two lovers or something else. Or maybe you're trying to make it unclear and vivid like that. If so then ignore this remark and just go on to doing the nit-picking stuff that is poetry.

I hope to see some more of your work.

I don't fully understand the poem either. I think poems should leave you guessing, but not too much. What I got from this was that a breakup occurred, one a woman wasn't expecting. I really liked the dashes and alliteration.

unlike all the others before me, i think i do actually get what it all means, or maybe i am just imagining it.

you are just imagining it

Who sold you the acid?



















Just kidding.