Thread: Limerick for my Daughter

There was a girl named Melanie
she married a dude named Bobby
they both have birthdays
November, I say
let's go up in the mountains to ski.

Oh, Cindy. I'm sorry I'm so late! I've been up to my neck with the crazies.

I think that there is an artfulness to the limerick and you are certainly getting it down. The last line, from what I hear, is always the most challenging. In your case, I would work on the "beat" with the last line just a tad. I love the sentiment. I wish I could write a nice limerick for my family (you know the story!) but there's always cousin Cathy.

First second and third lines should all get a rhythm
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
Classic example

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside

I try to think of a classic example and see if I can say what I have made up with the same rhythm, though sometimes I can convince myself it sounds right and then realise it isn't. It is a very good exercise for learning to hear rhythms as they are fairly obvious, some types of poetry they are really subtle, but they are still there and very important.

this limerick lacks any creativity....it's strictly narrative. try adding some metaphors and this would be great.

Thank-you Laurie for your comment. I knew the rhythm was off a bit.

And thank-you, Olly, for taking time out of your busy day to give me a short reminder course of Limericks. Much appreciated.

Here is my re-write:

There was a gal named Melanie
who was courted by a dude dubbed Bobby
both November born
now in marriage sworn
and in the mountains they ski with glee.