Thread: Spring Training

Legs steady
spine straight
shoulders squared
she stood at the door,
those with nowhere to lean
learn never to be lax.
She spun on her heel and left

for a date with a bunch
of blue hatted strangers
surrounding a slim table
in a freezing room,
but where was her groom?

Ah, yes, splayed on the sofa
watching whores disguised as dancers
while he worshiped Reverend Stern.
Howard, that is.

Dressed in a linen truck's best,
she waited for her number to be up,
errr, called,
watching a muted Jerry Springer
chastise kissing cousins.
Hours passed, as she, alone,
cultivated hatred with each inhalation,
until the orbs beneath her brows
became ebony glass
to absorb every beam of light
to keep the home fires burning.

Surely Satan would have begged her
to be his decorator
had she deigned to give him a peek.

She rolled off through swinging doors
into a fluorescent sunset,
grateful for the peace of dreamless sleep.
Rudely awoken to appendages
wrapped in wires,
she never tired
while battling the biggest guns
in the apothecary.

At six hours
she walked with the legs of a toddler,
at twelve,
her stride was as strong
as a striped horse stampede,
at twenty four,
her slippered feet
left indents a foot deep
in the immaculate tile floor.

Quite stoned, but still sane
she left the house of pain
only to return to another
where the sadist reigned…

but he was no more.

Yes, his carcass still cluttered her couch,
while his undeserving
filth filled lungs
siphoned the precious oxygen
from her air,
but she had dismissed his essence;
like a parasitic nit,
she'd finally plucked him from her hair.

She stood at the jamb,
a gentle smiling lamb,
and with chin held high
issued a single laugh.
Certainly, he thought her daft,
but then he didn't know

in four or five months
she wouldn't need him for a thing
and both he and that couch
were going to learn the meaning
of the word swing.
Not the dance, of course,
a noun wouldn't do,
it's the verb she'll teach,
assisted by a bat or two.



I'm sorry for posting without catching up, but I need to regain some sense of normalcy, and this is the only thing that may actually work. I'll do my best to get to everyone's stuff this weekend. Thanks, guys.

Strong, resolute, determined. I feel almost sorry for the jerk. Nah, I don't think I do afterall. Those who sow the wind, reap the whirlwhind.

You hang in there, sweetie.

Dearest Cindy, A bit too angry, perhaps? I'm also worried that it may be too abstract. You know exactly why I wrote this, but I'm thinking others won't know what the heck I'm talking about. Since only you have shown any interest in this one, (thank you so much for that, love) would you, when you have a sec, read through trying to ignore the inside info and see if it makes any sense at all and let me know. I've tried, but I can't separate myself far enough to tell one way or the other. This just may need a complete overhaul. Love strong, resolute and determined, am uber pleased that that came through. As for the jerk, he deserves whatever happens to him. Messing with whirlwinds in this particular territory can getcha killed. lol. Thanks so much, doll. Oops, almost forgot, I am hanging, I just wish my stupid feet would stop twitching already. lol.

Big hugs,
Me

Welcome back to us. And you came back with a vengence. Good girl. This is quite a story you are telling here. Very effective, Lisa. I wonder if you can even remember what drew you to this guy in the first place. It would be interesting to see if you could write a love poem. NOT! or could you? I'm glad you are safe and sound, honey.

Sondra

I did my best to separate myself as I know your situation and read your poem objectively. Though this will be difficult! You have an uncanny ability to describe the inner workings of the mind when subjected to adversity.

for a date with a bunch
of blue hatted strangers
surrounding a slim table
in a freezing room,
but where was her groom?

I get the image clearly. Again, your sense of humour injected amongst the dreaded. A certain gift I've not seen the likeness here.

her slippered feet
left indents a foot deep
in the immaculate tile floor

You know I'm a sucker for detail. This is marvelous!


Now that the objective observer is gone, I can say welcom home. And the jerk is not worth my comentary here. Luv, Laurie

All emotions felt in this one, Lisa Lou.....wow....such a strong piece....you hit hard, girly...

Dear Sondra, "with a vengeance" indeed, I'm loving the duality of that one, clever lady. Obviously, it's not too abstract because you got without a problem, that makes me happy. I've been pondering your question of what drew me to him for two days, I have no idea, it made no sense, even back then. Of course, he was more decent, but there was no logical explanation for the attraction that sunk its greedy claws in me the very first time I laid eyes on him. We came from two different worlds and it just shouldn't have been. I tried to kill it off, left and he followed, I beat it with a stick and still it wouldn't let go. I have never felt that way about anyone else, ever, and if it were my choice I'd choose numb over blubbering emotion that supersedes my self control. Somewhere, little fate fairies are laughing their asses off at this particular joke. Rant over.

Over one hundred pieces and not a single love poem written by my hand. I can't even bear to read the stuff. I am of the opinion that the essence of true love cannot be captured in mere syllables for no words exist to accurately describe that which defies linguistic expression. As poets, we cage emotion on pages, and if we're lucky, give the masses a glimpse, but how many of us actually understand love enough to pin it down and display it under glass. I know I don't and any attempt would be paltry at best. I'm curious, my dear friend, have you ever written a love poem? If so, kindly direct me to it, I should love to read it. You know how much I admire and respect your work, so effective from you means a great deal. I apologize for blabbing so much, this was a difficult one to write and share, but if I hadn't it would still be gnawing at my insides. Glad I'm safe and sound, too, this recovery is going much smoother than those of surgeries past. Thank you for sharing your time with me, Sondra, as well as your well wishes.



Dear Laurie, It's that addiction to detail that gets me put in the stocks for wordiness, I just can't give it up and I'm so happy you like it. Uncanny ability is far too generous, love, blushing here, and you know where we both stand regarding humor, our favorite seasoning to make the distasteful more palatable. As to the jerk, we shan't waste another word on him. I know you were dying to say a helluva lot more and appreciate that you didn't, it would have just made it worse. You are a true friend, indeed, my love.



Dear Terri, Oh ye of historical knowledge, you know what an ass he is, and you know as well as I do that he'll never change. Oops, check that, he does change, he gets worse. Nasty man. Truly appreciate hit hard, love, that was the purpose in a nutshell. Thanks so much for stopping by, your support has always been awesome and never wavers. Love you, also, as you too, are a dear friend.


Thanks you my dear ladies, all four of you. It seems the gentlemen have no desire to touch this one, gee I wonder why? I can't thank you enough for rallying around me in these troubling times. God bless and keep you all.

All my best, every bit of it, always,
Lisa

Lisa,

I'm a bit late commenting on this one, but I did enjoy the subject of the poem and as Sondra said, the vengeance, as I can so much relate to how you must be feeling. Some of the opposite gender are........... jerks. Mine only became more arrogant and abusive.

Ah, the challenge was issued and a man appears!

Knowing bits and pieces of the story, Lisa, it's hard to divorce myself (no pun, intended...possibly) from that knowledge to view the piece from the outside. It's therapy, of sorts, I suppose, for everyone in such a relationship. Your powerful spell of rage and frustration... and, beneath it, the disappointment and subtle longing for what marriage SHOULD be...calls to everyone who has been party to such a destructive situation.

I spent 3 looooooong years married to someone who did not love me in return. I poured myself out as an offering for her and got spite and resentment... even manipulation... in return. The truth is, had she not left, I would have stayed in that hell. I would've kept trying. It's who I am. Only when she was gone did I realize how truly deceptive she had been. This piece, and many others you have written, strike those chords of emotion in me.

Thankfully, by God's grace, I found a woman who loves me and honors me the way I honor her. I truly didn't know what I was missing until I finally had a "real" marriage. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for her and the light she brings my life. I wish that you had such support... a grace-bearer to make your load a bit lighter. In his stead, know that you always have your family here... and we are willing to listen and, through the revelation of your poetry, bear with you this burden you carry.

J

Dear Cindy, There is no such thing as late here, none of us punch a clock, save for maybe me, and I only do so literally. I'm elated if anyone shows up to my parties at all. Vengeance can be quite a tasty feast, nothing like serving up a fine platter of the stuff to some jerk of a man, or woman, for that matter. As long as it's imaginary, of course, I won't be swinging any bats. Sorry to hear of your woes, I pray you've distanced yourself from the ass.



Dear Jeff, I applaud your bravery in sharing your story, especially in this thread. Your tale proves the theory that evil is not gender biased and is more than happy to slip into any skin regardless of genitalia. You already know how I feel about your ex and how happy I am that you're currently living in the opposite end of the spectrum. I know you would have stuck it out, I'm glad the bitch left for I fear what would have become of you if she hadn't done so. You're far too decent a man to have to contend with such garbage. As for my family here, leave it up to a man to answer the challenge only to come here and bring me to tears, but of the happy kind for once. Thank you a million times for your support.



Dear Drew, Glad you enjoyed, especially the ending, you know how I love endings, especially when I'm meting out justice with premeditated malice. lol. You're right about tightening it up, but I'm not ready to touch it yet. I like your suggestion and will probably use it, although, I wrote it just as it happened and the waiting came first as it was far more important than that awful Jerry Springer, whom annoys me even in the absence of sound. As to S5, I agree it's not essential to the piece and should be lost, but I'm keeping it because it's essential to me. In such a state of anger, the nastiness of my thoughts both shocked and shamed me, totally out of character and all I could think is Satan must be proud right about now. For that reason, alone, it must remain.


Thank you, all, my lovelies, once again you've helped me smooth a rough patch, or rather, mile, patch isn't nearly big enough.

All my best,
Lisa

"She spun on her heel and left" - I liked the beginning, this line stuck out for me. I like it.

"for a date with a bunch
of blue hatted strangers" - Really enjoyed how you separated the beginning of this stanza from the last line of the first stanza. It made the reading very peculiar and delightful.

"those with nowhere to lean
learn never to be lax."- Oh and this was fantastic by the way.

"Howard, that is." - I would take this out. Let the reader figure it out.

"Dressed in a linen truck's best,
she waited for her number to be up,
errr, called,
watching a muted Jerry Springer
chastise kissing cousins." - This paints the image rather clear doesn't it. Very nice. Not sure how I feel about the "errr".

"cultivated hatred with each inhalation," - Remarkable line.

"to keep the home fires burning." - I don't care for this line.

"Rudely awoken to appendages
wrapped in wires,
she never tired
while battling the biggest guns
in the apothecary." - If I were to suggest that you rework any part of the poem it would be this part here. Something about it sounds odd. Or it's just me.

"in the immaculate tile floor." - It seems like there should be just a little more here. Perhaps a tiny bit of explanation.

"and with chin held high" - I would take out the "and".

"Certainly, he thought her daft,
but then he didn't know

in four or five months
she wouldn't need him for a thing" - Again I live that you separated these lines by stanza. It really adds a kind thoughtful pause to the poem.

The ending was extremely gratifying. I loved it all the way through, even with its scattered rhymes. A nice piece to read coming back.

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

I know you would have stuck it out, I'm glad the bitch left for I fear what would have become of you if she hadn't done so.

Me, too. Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful she left. Just wish she hadn't tried to ruin ever other aspect of my world as she did. But she didn't win. I survived and found what marriage is meant to be. The more wicked part of me hopes that, when facing judgment, she one day gets to understand just what she gave up on... and how blessed my life was after she left.

Dear Whitaker, "Tis a fine day when I find you in one of my threads. I'm glad you liked the peculiar stanza breaks, I wasn't sure if they would bomb as so much junk. That also goes for "those with nowhere to lean... also, I wasn't so sure that was acceptable either. Not sure if everyone will get which Stern I mean if I take Howard out, and since I've had him ranting in my ears for years against my will, it's important that connection be made. I'm not crazy about the err either, it was suitable in a pinch, but there must be something better I can use there for the same effect, still thinking on that one. "Keep the home fires burning" is certainly not stellar, but it has an inside meaning for me that I am unwilling to abandon. A certain somebody is a fire safety inspector who can't control the conflagrations under his own roof. I'm sorry you dislike most of S6, I agree it is odd, but that was intentional, those hours were very odd and I am okay with it as is, so it will probably remain. I agree the floor description is a bit blah, seeking to enhance. If I take out the and I'll just have to use it in the following line or else it doesn't grammatically make sense. That pause at the end is very important and I'm glad it works as intended. Happy you found the ending gratifying, it certainly did me a world of good. Love when you stop by, Whit, you always give such great in depth reviews.


Dear Jeff, Her leaving was the second best thing that ever happened to you, meeting your wife was the best. No such thing as wicked part, love, not in you. Human part, perhaps, but never wicked. Rest assured, she'll know everything in the end, which should make eternity unbearable for her. How so very nice, and that's the wicked part of me, and I can't blame it on being human. Comeuppance reigns in my kingdom. lol.

Many thanks to you both, fine gentlemen.

All my best, always,
Lisa

Hi, ChestersDaughter. I'm a newbie and already I will break the rules: "I like it" and "More please." (Although I probably just have to look at previous posts based on your counter...)

Seriously, there's a lot to like -- Satan's decorator, cultivating hatred, and indents on the tiled floor a foot deep, among many others. It was long but never tedious to read and the ending certainly didn't disappoint.

I guess I'm still breaking the rules, oh well...

I think you have a poem in just what you told me, Lisa. I am posting a 'love" poem. i think it still has a heavy feel to it. Just for you.