Thread: Black Hula Hoop

The image of the "black hula hoop" is awesome -- the contradiction of it -- the innocence suggested by the object and how black suggests the weight of responsibility -- and premature loss of that innocence. There's something a little impossible about it -- like a lead balloon, sort of.

Poignant isn't a word I'd throw around, maybe because it's so overused, but it applies. There's nothing whiny or gratuitous about this -- and it's hard not to cross that line, given the subject.

Silence,
until I would
claw open
my small carcass
to show her
my loud heart.

That's great stuff. Good job, Laurie.

Thank you, Joe. You are very correct about the black hoop but in all honesty there "was" a black hoop which was heavier than the other kids used. And I loved it! I decided to use it as a metaphor which you described very accurately.

It does require a fine balance to write a poem like this so I appreciate your noting this. Thanks for the read and for your take. Laurie

Wow, Laurie!

I know a lot of your story and this is very brave of you to tell with vivid imagery.
The 2nd line of the 2nd stanza captured my attention. Your dad went whore racing! Wow---what a man!?
You say you never had children of your own, but you certainly did have mothering experience ( is that what it was?) at a young age.
This poem is one of your best, IMO.

I hope you're doing well.

Cindy

Thank you so much, Cindy. Yes. You know allot of the story and in this, it's extra special to me that you took to this piece. I did do my share of mothering. Even trying to protect her when in public. I loved her dearly. Beautiful, smart and such a witty woman. And a brilliant writer. I'm sure she's proud of this piece. I think this is my favorite, too We're due for a phone call!