Thread: Anita

Eloquent silence;
that first look echoing a recognition.
Wrapped in beauty, She offers a quiet hello.
Graceful poise and innocent maturity,
my soul is saved.

I trip over a funny line.
She steps into it, catching my nervousness,
gently lays it down and the room slips away
claiming the crowd.
Just us two now.

Brown eyes, pure and giving, glance upward
through a pane of shyness.
No music except the beat of my captive heart.
A mutual smile draws us one step closer
and magnetism eases out the space between.

Closer still;
a promise of union demands the invitation to touch;
briefly, tentatively no need to rush.
The night dances toward dawn
as we step in time to the rhythm of our new found love.

for my wife

Your wife is a lucky woman to have such a lovely piece written for her. And it is lovely, Ralph. Two nits, in L3 you need a comma after beauty, (I love that you capitalized She) and newfound is one word. The only thing that seemed a bit off to me is the line "as gravity eases out the space between", it just seems awkward to me, can't say why, I really don't know why, but I stopped dead at that line. Could just be me, though. Contrary to belief, I'm not a complete gore whore, lovely does me just as much good when it's not overly sappy, which this is not. Nicely done.

Best,
Lisa

Anita is indeed a lucky woman. Beautiful, Woody.

Hi Lisa,

nice suggestion for S3 L5, must admit this version reads better than the first. What do you think?

thanks

Ralph.

Hi,

for some reason the spell check doesn't like newfound but accepts new found. Will check.

thanks

Ralph.

I appreciate the sentiment and I get a sense of who the person is.

Wrapped in beauty,

If she's beautiful, I'd leave it at that. "Wrapped" suggests something on the surface or superficial. (OK, maybe I'm over thinking it.)

No music except the beat of my captive heart.

my soul is saved.

Those seem a little obvious.

Good job. A good deal of my poetry is about my better half. In fact, not much else inspires me.

Eloquent silence

Heh. With my wife, that would rarely apply.