Thread: Driving in the Dark

mnb

Great use of metaphor, Firebird, I really dug this.

I feel sad, am I supposed to feel sad? Am I supposed to feel that the rabbit was suicidal? That it wanted the attention? Anyway, its cool that you got an emotion from a reader, keep it up. I also feel like it could use a different arrangement, something more structured so my eyes know which path to follow.

Dear Chestersdaughter, many thanks for your generous comments as always. Much appreciated! Will PM you.

PrisonersOfPrey, this was not intended to be about suicide, but I suppose it could be seen in that way. I intended it to be about two people that had been in love with one another - one who still is (and desparately wants to restart things), and one who's 'moved on'. I'm sorry if it didn't come across that way - poems can often be read in many different ways.

Love,

Firebird

I am so happy you've restored this piece, I was upset to see you had removed it. I immediately got this as you intended, hence my comment about excellent use of metaphor. Multiple interpretations are never a bad thing, it's like getting two for the price of one. Again, I really dug this. Keeping doing you, love.

Best,
Lisa

So simplistic how you build up a metaphor - makes the imagery very vivid while full of sentimental meaning...