Thread: All Lions Are Dogs (Adult Content 18+ Please, Mild Language)

All lions are dogs, I haven’t a doubt
running about with their personals out.
Measuring manhood in inches and girth
when what’s in their wallets, speaks to their worth.

They shout from the rooftops to one and all
of prides and packs and overworked balls
‘til their aging members begin to curl
then stuck at half mast, their flags won’t unfurl.

Then they weep and moan when they’re all alone
for what good is a dog without a bone?
But if their bankroll is mighty thick.
perhaps they’ll acquire a flock of one chick.

A vegan hen who requires no meat
as long as Manolo is dressing her feet.
Mutts age seven years to a lady’s one,
pups should focus on funds, not on fun.

It’s true some ladies prefer to dine,
but many are happy with credit lines.
Dogs should shelve the rulers and leave packs for fools
to bolster lockboxes to replace their tools.

It’s not mating we’re after, o canine masses,
it’s your money we want, you stupid asses.




Now look what you've started Martin and Cindy (Nellie), gee, this is great fun. I've a ton a chores, be back to comment on both your pieces a bit later. Love you guys, you're the best.

Yes, look what we've started and now you, Lisa, are having such a blast adding your two bits. But I love it!! It IS so much fun!

It’s not mating we’re after, o canine masses,
it’s your money we want, you stupid asses.

Save the best until the last.

Actually, I think you said it all in the first stanza. 'Running about with their personals out' was my favorite line.

The end was a little too over the top and crass for me, it kind of spoiled the rest of it which was very funny. Otherwise, enjoyed very much.

Originally Posted by Foxee

Actually, I think you said it all in the first stanza. 'Running about with their personals out' was my favorite line.

The end was a little too over the top and crass for me, it kind of spoiled the rest of it which was very funny. Otherwise, enjoyed very much.

I very much agree. It was a fun read, and entertaining, but the last stanza didn't fit with the rest.

Lisa, you hit hard with your work but you reached a new height, here. Loved it. Oh, I think now I'm daring you to be even more wicked!

Dear Cindy, I love when swapping of pieces starts up, it's always so much fun. All work and no play make poets grumpy recluses who seek to annihilate the world with poison pieces. Can't have that, now, can we? I'm glad you liked the ending, although you seem to be alone in that thought. Thanks for coaxing me into the fray, love.

Dear Foxee and Richard, I had a run-in with a rabid dog mid piece and the latter half was influenced by my perturbance. Is it just the final couplet or is the penultimate stanza also too crass? I'm not sure what to do yet, Cindy liked the ending as Laurie told me she did too, so I'm equally divided. Personally, I think it's a bit strong, and does not represent my actual view, and I'm not sure whether to rework the penultimate stanza or not. Guess I'll wait to see if anyone else responds and what they think. I am leaning toward lessening it, though. I'm glad you both enjoyed the rest, was very hesitant to post this one. Thanks for the input, loves.

Dear Laurie, Never ever issue dares, my love, I'm one to accept if only to prove that I can. I hope you meant the jabs as opposed to the sexual references, sharper jabs I'd do, poetic pornography, not my bag, I'm really a prude. Seriously, I don't enjoy reading the stuff at all, so I'd never write it. It was really hard for me to go even this far. Thrilled you enjoyed, my dear friend.

Thanks so much to all for indulging me with this little bit of silly fluff.

All my best,
Lisa

Stick that up ya den!

I love it, you've made my day.

So funny, Lisa. You just trotted right along with this one. It seemed effortless. i didn't mind the last lines. If you're going to write subjectively , opinions count. The whole thing made me laugh. Very clever. (However, it would be just as clever and funny without the last lines.) always, Sondra

This is very fun to read (though I can't agree with the point of view expressed, lol). I always approach the poetry board on a writing forum with some trepidation, expecting that about 98% of what I'm going to see will totally foil any attempt I might make to say something constructive or nice about it. Not so this time!

This would make an able rap lyric, in my opinion--there's the requisite humorous rancor, and some fairly adroit rhymes. (That was a COMPLIMENT, by the way! I like rap musik.)

Keep up the good work!

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

All work and no play make poets grumpy recluses who seek to annihilate the world with poison pieces.

You know, it's funny, there's this one quote that goes, "It's like the majority of these writers write solely out of a desire for revenge," because yeah, you can totally sense an ugly vibe from some stuff, whether fiction or poetry.

And loved the piece . I have no nits, really. Your honesty shines. You don't mince words with the situation, which rocks. Wish more came to my mind, but I'm a little bleh just at present.
-cae

Originally Posted by apple

(However, it would be just as clever and funny without the last lines.)

Exactly how I feel, the last lines don't add anything to the poem that wasn't there already.

Hehe, and you too. I've had some work and been studying a bit more than usual the last couple of days, so haven't had much time to check in. I really only have one comment on this piece:

"for what good is a dog without a bone?"

You forgot to mention a clean pen, a bowl of snacks and an occasional bath ; )

Enjoyed the response, Lisa, and oh maybe yeah, those last lines don't tie in that well IMO...

Dear Katie, lol, and you in turn made my day, "stick that up ya den", indeed. Thanks, love, I needed that.


Dear Sondra, I loved your use of trotted, imagine the fun I would have had if Martin had chosen horses. Opinions always count, those last two lines are a personal rant in all honesty, and not my real feelings at all. Since the dog is still in the doghouse, I'll leave them be for a bit and then remove them. Thrilled you found it funny.


Dear Scarlett, I've followed rap since its inception, although I much prefer old school to today's stuff, so your compliment was very well received. Thank you. I don't agree with the sentiment either, but I will stoop to whatever necessary in the pursuit of fun. Super glad I was able to make "this time" different. Truly appreciate your generous words.


Dear Cae, Revenge is a potent muse, I use it quite frequently. Better to attack with words, no one has ever been imprisoned for wounding with a piece, the wounds may not bleed but leave the most luscious scars. You are never bleh, and I never mince words, darlin', it's a waste of time. Glad you enjoyed, love.


Dear Richard, Appreciate your stopping back. You're right, of course, those got added at the last moment and I will be removing them as soon as my reason for writing them apologizes.


Dear Martin, Aye, 'tis a troublemaker you've become stirring up such noxious brews. I love you for it. Already addressed the last lines rant, it will be going. "for what good is a dog without a bone" there should be an "r" at the end of bone, I was just too much of a lady to put it there. I suppose the pen and snacks and bath would come in great handy once the bone got to sagging, though. I simply must inquire, have you gone mad, sir? Encouraging this wordy blabbermouth to add to a piece? All in good fun, Martin, my dear, and thank you so much for the inspiration, this was really fun to write.

My sincere thanks to all for your time and trouble.

All my best,
Lisa