Thread: Pinwheels

Just a poem I wrote about a year ago. Thought I'd share any thoughts/opinion/criticisms welcome!

Threatened
fading away
into black emptiness.
Watching you recede
along your steadfast course.
Eyes speak understanding.
break your momentum
because I'm flying awry
my arms and legs
flailing like broken
pinwheels--
Chaos of color
against emotions of gray.
I'm drowning
in a sea of stars.
Stop your journey,
reach out and
hold me
that pivotal point.
You're my last call for hope.
It's not too late.
Life's only beginning
I'm out of control
I need your heart
to ground me
so we can drift
in that most necessary
imperfect tandem.

what i like about this is that you have made lines short, giving the poem a narrow shape, which makes one feel when reading it that they are falling downwards into the doom of the character of the poem