Thread: The Walk

Aged stains
cherry red,
orange,
lime green
on
thin splintered wood
called from her childhood;
when she dreamt
she crossed the bridge
made out of
popsicle sticks.

She’s now a woman
who still believes
in treading the unfathomable.

Climbed out of barrels
of crackhead bile,
stabbed gluttony in the gut,
buried jewels of the vain,
shoveled ditches for dirty lies,
washed clean from daddy.

Brave and righteous,
tired and unconcerned;
for fifteen minutes
when she thought
she was spent.

He waits for
a puny penny
of frailty.

Worth
a million to him.

She’ll give
this man
her bridge
and see if he
makes it to
the other side.
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

Like this one a lot Laurie, I do know what inspired it and wish you all the luck in the world.

Some very good lines throughout, but I especially love the ending.

She’ll give
this man
her bridge
and see if he
makes it to
the other side.
　

Perfect!

You've changed this since my initial read, Laurie, love, and the changes work magnificently. I have to echo Cindy regarding the ending, perfect, indeed. How wonderful it would be if those who sought to do us harm were forced to don our shoes for just a moment. I also know the government inspired this, but knowing the history of daddy dearest, I must say that this piece could also easily apply to him, two for the price of one, bravo. My only nit is that I think you should drop the on after lime green down to the next line. Otherwise, perfect. Since I know you've been a bit concerned by a sluggish pen I thought I should let you know, you're baaaaaaack!

Lisa, as usual "on spot", I dropped the "a" down. Looks and reads much better. You're such a good detective! Oh, yeah. This poem could certainly apply to daddy dearest. I suppose I might have easily been "projecting" in this poem. You're right. A two in one. Very cathardic. The government still sucks but am making a little headway. And thank you. I am baaaack! Love ya, Laurie

I have to say that the first time, I had no idea what this was about. The second time, I thought it might be about a dog, then realized it had more to do with drugs than dogs if anything. No matter what, it deals with suffering ("bile" yuck!) so I'm happy I didn't understand it, because a poem about suffering not making sense to everyone is not necessarily a bad thing.

Thanks chic...I do admitt to being a little obsure here. If you've read the thread people had their own interpretations. As you said, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Usually, my writing is more straightforward. Some puzzles here and there but mostly easy reading. Glad you picked up on "suffering", a common theme of mine.
Thanks for the read and comments. Laurie

Hi, Laurie. I really like the structure of this piece and interpreted it as: a woman who's been hurt before preparing to take a risk and open up to someone again?

Thank you, Semtecks. I'm very glad this poem has been up for interpretation because that is what most poetry is all about. To explain:

It is actually a rant poem. Yes. I've been hurt. You've got that down. I very recently discovered that the government is cutting off funding I need to live (and I'm appealing). Lisa interpreted the hurt as being related to my father who abused me as a child. I can see how the poem covers that area as well. The ending:

She’ll give
this man
her bridge
and see if he
makes it to
the other side

This ending is not about opening up to someone. It's a dare. In the beging stanza I talk about the dream. Crossing a bridge made of popsical sticks. A daunting prospect! I dare the government to prevail.

Thank you so much for reading and sharing your interpretation. Laurie