Thread: Time

Times like this
wish I could hit
time
with a metaphoric mallet,
so time would sit.

Time

a funny odd fellow,
bring to it violence,
yet time stays mellow.

Yell and curse
until voice is gone
funny thing,
time
just moves on.

Metaphoric.

I like this piece. I like the way you've structured it

Damn, forgot to check my spelling. haha

Thanks semtecks.

Dug this, Jon. Time is inevitable, subtly implacable, yet always smug and smiling back. For me, there is terror in that image. No matter how much you struggle, rage, rant, and flail at it, there it is, unaffected for all your effort and winking at you from behind its shoulder. There is one part I hated in your piece: "metaphoric mallet". It sounds phonetically horrible and makes absolutely no sense to me.

Time is for the most part just a practical concept we're relating to. If it's really there, is incrompehensible to center down on. Yet, then Einstein proved it wasn't a fixed factor but is dependant on speed. Quite intimidating really...

I liked your piece also, it had a pleasing curios tone to it. The mallet metaphor works fine for me.

The two first lines in the last stanza I think could be something else. As you already included violence, I think the 'anger' portrayed in those lines is somewhat a tautology and would be more interesting if replaced with something else... OR the violence in third stanza could be replaced instead...

Edge, thanks. Metaphoric mallet sounds OK to me, but I see your point. This piece underwent little revision -- I'm sure in time I would've found something better. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on time, I echo them. Thanks.

Martin, again, interesting take. Also, thanks for the suggestion.

I am almost obsessively time conscious, so like Edge, I dug this heaps, but unlike Edge, I also dug metaphoric mallet. I am especially partial to S2 and to the construction as a whole. Great little piece that smacks of truth. Well done, Jon.