Thread: momentary infinity

it's strange
how a solitary moment
- where fickle coincidence in faultless inspiration
aligns eyes with counterparts
-

can linger on;

to paste the final puzzle piece
(and the first
and every in-between)
perfectly in line
to paint an unstoppable smile

and make every other moment linger too
with the all-enveloping hope
of sharing that serendipity
just once again

knowing
that just once again
could penetrate into for
ever

This is lovely, You Won't, I really needed the smile it up upon my lips this morning. Not nearly as extravagant as your puzzle, really loved that image, but it still did the job. Thank you. Not crazy about the dashes, they're distracting and I think you should nix the semi colon, it is not necessary and you haven't used punctuation elsewhere, save for the parentheses which serve their purpose well. I think it would better to move for down to ever in the final stanza, it's a bit awkward as is. Much enjoyed, love, thank you for sharing.

Best,
Lisa

I'm very glad you liked it, and that it had that effect on you, thank you
Hmm I suppose you're right. I meant to give the effect of a quick interjecting thought with the dashes, but i suppose it doesn't come across that way

I love what you are saying here, ywkm, very nice!

I also think that the punctuation as you've used it here, only distracts from the lovely words. In my mind, I see no capitalization, so when I see some dashes or colons used, it's jarring me out of the poem. I agree with Lisa, you should lose the puntuation altogether, unless you're going to punctuate properly throughout the poem.
Look forward to reading more of your work.

I like the style and flow alot. The dashes dont bother me much.

to paste the final puzzle piece
(and the first
and every in-between)
perfectly in line
to paint an unstoppable smile

Likin' that. Great stuff.

What a lovely poem. The flow and the pace of this poem somehow help echo its meaning. Quite beautiful.

Well done!

Love,

Firebird

I like this a lot. Very nice work

Thank you all
It's actually kinda my first attempt with punctuation, so I guess it makes sense that it didn't for the most part come across as I intended

Don't feel bad, I've struggled with punctuation forever, it seems. I know it's a wonderful tool when used correctly, if only I could.

Haha that does sound pretty familiar