Thread: WW III (an idea)

WWIII


“And now for some breaking news,
Amidst growing global peace,
a number of loving conflicts
have simultaneously broken out
in major cities around the world.
At this stage the exact cause of the fighting is unknown,
but early reports suggest
the war may have been started over who loved who more.
No casualties are to be expected.
We will keep you updated as things progress.”

LOL, this is adorable. Good lighthearted fun and very clever. Much enjoyed.

Best,
Lisa

I love the whole idea of your poem. But for me, I think it could be a subject that could flourish within a poem and be very powerful ,if you could "show" us what you are "telling" us, by using imagery, similie, metaphor, etc. What you have now is great bones to create a wonderful poem.

for example: instead of saying (holding hands) maybe...palms and fingers meet creating warmth... it's not the greatest example but it might create more of a visual and an emotional feel., instead of just telling us what happened. It is really fun to think about expressing in different ways.

my best
apple

I too, love the idea here, lots of fun. Put a smile on my face to think of this happening.

I agree with Sondra, 100%, as is, it's very light on imagery. But it's a great idea and it will provide you with a great deal of fodder for incorporating some imagery. I would really like to see you expand on this, I believe you're onto something fantastic and would love to see it come to fruition. Best of luck with your endeavors if you should decide to proceed with this.

Thankyou all for your comments, I honestly appreciate them.
This was written as a little nonsense piece...a few people mentioned it's minimal use of imagery; I was actually hoping the 'image' was going to be of a fairly straight faced reporter on the 7 o clock news.

Possible followed by a very chirpy

"....and now for news in sport!"

Would this kind of news sell? Hmmmm...I think not. Wish it did though

I'll work on rewriting it as suggested, and incorporate some imagery.

Thanks again for the positive feedback.

T