Thread: Lovers in the Mist

Dedicated to the woman I love. You'll understand.



Two lovers in the mist, obscured
Two hearts alone that time inured
Call to each other in a pain
That could no longer be endured.

Tho distance kept the both apart
They struggled through the veil to start
The fated love that was to be
The union of the two, one heart.

The voices that the two each heard
Would echo once, a second, third
And dance about 'til neither knew
From whence had come the mournful word.

The lovers sadly cursed that this
Was not the day that they may kiss
As both kept wand'ring in the mist
As both kept dying in the mist.

Awww. I loved it.
I think the ending was sad, but it was great.

Thank you, Jessa. You are so kind.

Very touching Fox, this stanza really grabbed me with it's sad truth. It captures the feeling of helplessness that two people often feel when they see it falling apart, and don't know why.

The voices that the two each heard
Would echo once, a second, third
And dance about 'til neither knew
From whence had come the mournful word.

Originally Posted by Gumby

Very touching Fox, this stanza really grabbed me with it's sad truth. It captures the feeling of helplessness that two people often feel when they see it falling apart, and don't know why.

Hi Garza, thanks for the comment. This poem is actually about two people separated for the time being, longing to be together but can't right now. They can hear but not see each other, "dying" in their souls from the desire to be together. I must have inadvertently sent the wrong message.

No, you didn't send the wrong message.

That's the beauty of poetry, each person who reads it can get a little different take on what's being said. I can see what you've said too, along with my interpretation of it.

PS ( I'm Gumby )

Originally Posted by Gumby

No, you didn't send the wrong message.

That's the beauty of poetry, each person who reads it can get a little different take on what's being said. I can see what you've said too, along with my interpretation of it.

PS ( I'm Gumby )

Thank you for clarifying, Gumby. Thought I screwed up.

Can I ask, since I'm a novice - did the iambic tetrameter work? Did it flow right?