Thread: I Wonder

I wonder
Will our love pass…
The test of time
Will we grow old together?

Can we stand strong..
Like a tree with roots that go--
Deep and branches that spread
Wide and low
to shelter the young below?

I stare at the candle
it mesmerizes me.
Oh my love, why does
Panic stand at the door,

What is the fear that grips me?
Are we able to eat of this plate set before us.
We are so different in so many ways
I fear---it is not a reality.

I squeeze your hand
As the diamond on my finger
glitters, in the evening candlelight…

And the music plays soft and low.
Your eyes are comforting
And warmth flows through my soul.

I concede---only time alone will tell,
Only time alone will know.

Still, I wonder.

"I squeeze your hand
As the diamond on my finger
glitters, in the evening candlelight…

And the music plays soft and low.
Your eyes are comforting
And warmth flows through my soul."


Really good, this was my favorite part. Nice job!

The opening was one big fat cliche, not a good way to start. And it progresses to feeling a bit cheesy, though I don't criticise the subject matter itself. There is some nice construction and thought that's gone into this, and as a piece for yours and our enjoyment (here) it delivers, but paths so thoroughly trod are always hard to attempt to break new contemporary ground in.

That being said though I did enjoy the read and would like to see something else.

It is a bit of a cliche, but marriage itself is a bit of a cliche, too, isn't it? Yet it still evokes some pretty powerful emotions in me. (I'll be married 10 years at the end of this month!)

"Can we stand strong..
Like a tree with roots that go--
Deep and branches that spread
Wide and low
to shelter the young below?"

So many times I have asked this question. So many times I have felt inadequate and just plain terrified with the responsibility that is ours as parents.

I loved this piece.

Thank you, AngieP, Creational, and Jessalynn Barnum for your comments on my poem, "I Wonder." I really appreciate your thoughts and comments. I will review each one again and will also review the poem with those comments in mind....