Thread: I'm Tired

I’m tired
Tired of worrying
Tired of fighting
And in the end
When I’m lying there dying
I’ll remember
I’ll remember our silly games
How brothers fought
How we went to war
I’ll remember how we worried
We worried about losing
Losing our silly games
But the truth
The truth is
We all lose
Because as I lay there dying
I’ll remember our games
I’ll remember our wars
And I’ll remember
You can’t win
No one wins
Because
In the end
We’re still lying there
Lying there dying

After 44 reads, and this the 45th, I wonder why not a reply.
And thusly read this rightly poem... quite a searing question put forth
and makes me wonder why as well... here we lay, dying still... and nothing is won.
Could it be that those that unlock the truth are the true winners.

Very nice use of repetition to reinforce images. Also like the way this works on both a personal and universal level. Clever stuff that. One thing that might be worth considering, though, would be the caps at the start of each line. Personal taste, really, but using lowercase can signify the continuance of a single thought.

Very well written Isaiah. Your repetition makes for a powerful read and one that truly draws in the reader. Well done.

Thanks guys! this was one of my first poems; when I started I used caps every line. If I had written it today it wouldn't be that way... I half-way forgot about this one.

You a musician, Isaiah? This is only the second poem of yours I've read, so maybe it's not representative, but this and the other one I read (I think it was called "I hate you" or something like that) read a lot like song lyrics. I think it's the strong rhythm that gives that impression. So I was curious if you were heavily influenced by music, and, if so, who your influences were. Also, your avie is someone playing the guitar (you perhaps?) which further aroused my curiosity...

Originally Posted by Bachelorette

You a musician, Isaiah? This is only the second poem of yours I've read, so maybe it's not representative, but this and the other one I read (I think it was called "I hate you" or something like that) read a lot like song lyrics. I think it's the strong rhythm that gives that impression. So I was curious if you were heavily influenced by music, and, if so, who your influences were. Also, your avie is someone playing the guitar (you perhaps?) which further aroused my curiosity...

I do play guitar(that is me). Many of my poems are influenced rhythmically by music, but not all of them are. I wouldn't say that any specific group or type of music influences the way that I write poetry; I try to stay original, but I would have to say that the band I could most closely relate my poetry to is "The Classic Crime". They are a fairly recent discovery of mine, and I love there music because it is so poetic.

I've toyed with the though of writing lyrics, but as of now I just like to write very rhythmic poetry. Maybe one day I'll turn one into a song.