Thread: Unreliable Narrators

We trot down Escher's stairs,
flaunting idiosyncrasies
of flair and style,
writing whims
as we imagine God
would wring his hands
before creation.

Mirroring narration,
every distorted face
grimaces answers
in backwards feedback;
the dance of negation,
because playing contrarian
presents a response
we yearn to hear.

Honesty does not come cheap.

Diogenes and his useless lantern
could never cast shadows in daylight;
but doubt is a sturdy anvil
to hammer sparks from paranoia.

So we gather around the fire,
trade stories for tricks
picked up from other bards;

toast articles of wit
(abominations)
combinations not our own.

A lie is still a lie anonymously,
we can bicker about degrees;
truth dashes across our periphery
and we will write about that too.

"as we imagine god
would wring his hands
before creation." - I really liked this bit.

"in twisted feedback;" - Not crazy about this line.

"Honesty does not come cheap." - Does this need to be its own line. If you think so that's fine. Just thought I would ask.

"to hammer sparks from paranoia." - Fantastic line.

"So we gather around the fire,
trade stories for tricks
picked up from other bards;" - This is such a marvelous little bit. Wish I wrote it.

"toast articles of wit
(abominations)
combinations not our own." - I didn't care for this at all. Just doesn't sound right to me.

You really nailed the ending. I've read a couple poems tonight and they almost all have had great endings. That last stanza is flawless.

This started strong and in my opinion, stayed strong throughout, Edge. Great job!

'doubt is a sturdy anvil' great phrase

I enjoyed this, particularly the ending, which had a kind of upbeat edge. Note final 'to' should be 'too'.

cheers
J.R.

"Mirroring narration," "in twisted feedback," "combinations not our own," and "a lie is still a lie anonymously" seemed to be the weaker lines. All in all, the poem was powerful throughout. Very great work!

Excellent, Edge, with an abundance of really yummy lines. "Honesty does not come cheap." simply must remain alone, it's perfect that way. Echo J.R. regarding that final too. Not another nit to these eyes, but, and I know it's highly doubtful you'll accommodate me, I'd prefer it if God were capitalized. Exemplary work which I greatly enjoyed.

Ah, brilliant in my eyes. I hate to mimic the words of everyone that's posted above me, but it can not be avoided. The last stanza is just brilliant.

"we can bicker about degrees;" <--- My personal favorite line.

I also agree that God should be capitalized, it would seem to have a bit more of a punch that way. However it is your piece after all and I shall not intrude on it.

Thanks yous.

Whit, "twisted" has been changed to "backwards". Thank you for pointing that out. It makes more sense now.

CD, I've capitalized the g in god. It is probably grammatically correct anyways.