Thread: A Tree Lives On

Green sprouts innocently
in short vicinity
of a scorched trunk;
begged by a blackened floor,
urged on by fallen rain
in birthing red of dawn upon
the night when lightning struck
indifferently.

Finding one line I like the most is difficult here, Martin, because I love it all. The image you create in the reader's head is a powerful one - not because of any underlying message, but simply because you have described the scene so well in such a short number of words: a true gift put to good use.

The only problem I have is that sometimes a comma is not a long enough pause, and without a period I fear the poem could be read in a rushed manner that does not benefit the piece. Here especially:

urged on by fallen rain
in birthing red of dawn upon
the night when lightning struck
indifferently.

These four lines run the risk of being rushed by the voice in a reader's head that reads the poem 'aloud'.

Overall, this is a short-yet-powerful poem that - much like the lightning mentioned - is scorched into the reader's mind after it's been read. Good job, Martin!

yes, as a Victorian Aussie who lives with bush fires every summer
this poem speaks directly to my heart and conjures up imagery
of eucalyptus gums regenerating after the wrath of nature
has been wrought upon our parched land by lightening

I likes it!

"Good things come in small packages" applies here. You describe, elegantly and smoothly, one of the sharpest forces of nature. Something which is not easy to pull off and your ending is rememberable.

the night when lightning struck
indifferently.

I will be back for another read! Laurie

You've captured it here, Martin, well done!

Thanks all for your kind comments.

Enjoyed the read. The mental picture with powerful finishing has a lot to tell about nature.

Hi Martin,

This is well described, but I would have liked it if this poem could have hinted at more than the literal image, to give it extra depth. This could be done easily as this poem represents a powerful image which could be taken in many directions.

Enjoyed reading.

Love,

Firebird

Thanks both.

Firebird, I appreciate the encouragement. Besides the mild characterisations, I really didn't feel like hinting at more than the image in this one. Like when we are in nature, if we listen, nature will always only speak just the way it is!

This, dear Martin, is simply beautiful. Nature's resilient cycle of life brilliantly captured in few really appealing lines. Extremely well done.