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Thread: My Grandma Effie's Epic Journey (one strong word)

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    My Grandma Effie's Epic Journey (one strong word)

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    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
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    Cindy, what a thoroughly engaging poemstory! I do get that good 'Ol Irish feel from it. Comes across very strongly. Your humour is delicious! My favorites:

    Brilliant fun!
    he whisked her
    off her feet
    which, for a man
    of Kelly's size
    was no fait accompli
    (Effie had to help him
    though she tried to be discreet.)
    And then comes the ending. Never cross a strong Irish woman!
    The secret of their bliss
    was that Effie
    wore the britches
    and O'Mally
    learned to tow the line
    unless he wanted stitches.
    Your humour is so well balanced here. Read so smoothy. Not off a beat! Laurie
    Last edited by SilverMoon; 08-07-2010 at 07:36 PM.
    "Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light" Groucho Marx
    http://www.punksoulpoet.com/2011/04/inspired-by-the-artist-andrea-wch/#top"Emalyne"
    http://www.motleypress.artandsole.org.uk/Issue1opt.PDF
    "No Forgiveness for the Chrysalis"


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    Thank you Laurie, this is actually based on my grandparents, so lots of truths here. Glad you enjoyed.

  4. #4
    SoNickSays...
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    I love how it feels so natural to read. Sometimes when you read a poem the rhymes can be forced, and the lines broken from trying to it a set number of syllables. Maybe the Limerick thread has helped you out here, because none of it felt broken, nor any rhymes forced.

    I would say it flowed beautifully, but my head had to adjust to it because of the lack of punctuation on a lot of the lines. Where I felt a comma or a period was implied, it wasn't there:

    No ribbons
    for her curly hair
    no perfume for her wrist
    she
    wore her Daddy's
    cast off clothes
    I do love a good story in a poem, and the humour in this was wonderful. Excellently done, Gumby!

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    Thanks SNS. This is an old one I took out and dusted off, I do believe you're right in that it could benefit from some punctuation here and there.

  6. #6
    Poetry Moderator Chester's Daughter's Avatar
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    I have bone to pick with you regarding the title warning, there isn't just one strong word in this piece, every last one of them is as strong as Grandma Effie herself and together they tell her tale exquisitely. A few more commas are in order as SoNickSays indicated, I guess us punctuationally (I made it up) challenged pals missed it first time around, but that by no means lessens how much I love this piece. This is one of my favorites of yours, Cindy, and it was a true pleasure to read it again. Gotta love Grandma Effie!

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    '...and O'Mally learned to tow the line unless he wanted stitches'. That part had me at a good laugh.

    Here is another one:

    'For if a boy reached through her guard, he met with Effie's fist...' I pity the boys that came along anyway. She was such a strong spine; a character that made me want to read all the way to the end of the poem


    A well-penned story spiced with some bit of humor.
    Last edited by Foxryder; 08-08-2010 at 12:32 AM.

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    Astronomer caelum's Avatar
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    Great fun and flowed nicely all the way through. Your use of commas, as well as where you chose to make new lines, didn't hiccup once for me. It was funny, too. Sounds like your grandma kicked some a#$, lol.
    -cae
    Let's see if my above post is deleted without explanation. Wouldn't be the first time.

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    Thank you Lisa, that's very sweet of you to say. You know punctuation and I are just now getting on speaking terms.

    Foxryder, I'm glad you enjoyed this, it was fun to write.

    Caelum, thanks for reading and commenting on this one. My grandma was one tough woman and could hold her own with most any man. She was one heck of a poker player too, but you had to watch her as she cheated.

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