Thread: Rigor Mortis

Carry all forgotten by the flesh,
possibly youth and choice refresh
with cautious hope, never met,
never repay the thoughtless debt.
Till fiery in the placid bed
resign her beauty to unworthy dead,
hovering in vaulted memory,
clinging to the law of entropy,
indoctrined in self destruction.
“Foolish boy” ghosts intone “presumption
that the best eternal lives in longing heart
is hopeless. None shall be set apart!”
Yet I cannot recall
the shattering, the endless fall
to a higher place of graspless time.
Nothing can be more divine
than defiance of mortal sorrow
the conflagration of tomorrow
when love and lust share a face
writ on dull Euclidean space
with paint and plastic lips
or the drum of pounding hips
that satisfy the newest judge
whom the dead will not begrudge.

Ah this one will have me returning several times, Crowley. I think it would benefit from stanza's, but that's just my opinion. The first line grabbed me and I couldn't stop until I finished.

This is a keeper. Reminds me of Poe in language (though not structure), which is high praise indeed. I don't normally mind half-rhymes, but there are a couple here that are questionable:

hovering in vaulted memory,
clinging to the law of entropy,

indoctrined in self destruction.
“Foolish boy” ghosts intone “presumption

Definitely one I would return to, like Gumby said. You have a good one on your hands here, Crowley!

It's wierd that you should see Poe in this as I wrote this just after reading "masque of the red death". Strange that should seep into the style.

I know what you mean about the assonance in those lines but I had so much trouble finding better alternatives that were consistent in meaning that I left them as is. Perhaps i'll come back to this in a few weeks with a clear head and do an overhaul. Thanks for the praise.