Thread: Will He Remember

For months we have planned
a joyous, festive day,
and to the family's dismay
he did not understand.

His grand daughter's would soon wed,
one tomorrow at eleven,
the other, two weeks at ten,
this was going over his head.

Bewildered, he gave it thought
anxiously wanting to speak,
surely, the weddings are next week
lowering his head, distraught.

It was this moment when we
heard his memories slowly fade,
like a shameless renegade,
that will ultimately flee.

My father, an old timer,
is losing it to Alzheimer's.
Yesterday is long ago
so we hope for tomorrow.

Will he remember how to
count to ten or write his name,
or read a book, tie his shoe,
and what land his family came?

Life is but a memory,
my hope is, it will be.

Cindy, I know of your heart breaking situation and how it's affecting your whole family. This is all I can say without giving your poem away. Reviewing will be a challenge for me because I'm going to have to compartmentalize our dear friendship and put on the Critique Hat, for now.

I see that you're using allot of quotation marks which lend themselves better to prose. I would eminate all of them as you want the "poem" to speak, not the characters.

How I might re-word the first verse, throwing in a bit of detail to bring us "in".

Today he strains,
wondering...
what's been planned
for tommorow's joyous day.

Just yesterday he was told
of the grand festivities,
the classical music,
bride in white,
the huge frosted cake.
Oh, how could he forget?!

We struggle,
not wanting
to remember.

Dear,
your Grand-daughter
will be wed.........

I loved this following verse using a similie very well.

It was this moment when we
heard his memories slowly fade,
like a shameless renegade,
that will ultimately flee.

I think this poem has so much potential, so you might want to consider a little re-work. Hoping you will, just remember to include "Edit" in your title.

This is very touching. My eyes sadly fluttered as I read the ending. I feel for him, Nellie. This situation like any other burden are thing we pray not to encounter, not to talk of carrying.

You were wonderful with the piece. With all due respect to you, Laurie's contribution inked some poetric lines to the work too. In my fair view, those quotes seem to dilute the poetric layout.


Thanks for having the courage to write this piece and share it also.


Fox.

And thank you Fox and Laurie for your valuable input. I don't know what I was thinking when I originally put in quotations. I do know that isn't really poetry, so thanks Laurie, although it was a challenge.

Cindy