Thread: Black Mirrors. ( Adult content and some language)

Legs that numb as midnight ticks
and lie across the patterned seats
which home the stench
of night's gone by,
by which each girl
who with each guy
has drank too much
or flown too high.

Eyes that tire as darkness lingers
and stare upon the long black mirrors,
bus windows engulfed by night
hiding the scene
of men who fight
and act like fools
drinking lust
and smoking cool.

Sick that stains the plastic floors
erupting from the group of whores
who's age means little
to those with dicks,
girls feel needed
and guys need feeling
time for beer,
and bud
and bleeding.

Legs that numb as midnight ticks
and lie across the patterned seats
her hands clung tight,
watching the night,
through black mirrors
that show his wanting
and echo loudly
his harsh grunting.

sick. goal accomplished.

I think you captured the hopless feeling and the dark atmosphere so common in this lifestyle. Some very powerful images and lines here, Tom! Well done!

I have to echo Cindy here, you've captured the dark atmosphere brilliantly and the piece is peppered with both strong imagery and winner lines. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Kudos, Tom, for a job well done.

Best,
Lisa

Thanks Arc, Gumby and Chester, for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it and understood the darkness.

Tom.

Wonderful, Tom. I can't say much that hasn't already been said. The imagery is good, partly because it balances well; it's not too over-the-top, but not too simple/subtle.

The use of the stanzas when you read it in your head gives it just the right pace the poem needs, so maximum effect is achieved. The voice in my head was a depressing old man with a deep, croaky voice. Whether that's of relevance or credit to the darkness of the piece I don't know, but I thought it was interesting to note.

Good work, Tom!