Thread: Haiku

Under the weeping willow
the shadows
have become shade

I don't see the counterpoint in this that would make it work as a haiku for me.

I like the play between shadow and shade. I feel though, it should be somehow better integrated with the first line.

It's a nice image, but really lacks essence. Not much to say, since it is such a short poem. I did like how you made a distinct contrast between 'shadow' and 'shade' with few words, and makes the reader wonder further what this distinction is.

I like the "shadow"/"shade" disctintion, but there's nothing in this really that would qualify it as haiku. Wrong syllable count, no real kigo or kireji, lack of juxtaposition.

I'm also curious as to why you chose a weeping willow. As far as the name of the tree goes, I'd have expected a move from neutral or somewhat positive connotations to sad or sorrowful.