Thread: Stormy Weather Poem.

Slowly breathing in the air, as it seeps through the window.
Gently tossing and turning, my body resting upon each side.
I feel the warmth of you next to me, your skin to mine.
Laying calmly against the pillow, listening to the sound.

Rain hitting the window pane as it starts to fall from above.
Distant sounds surround, as the sky appears so bright.
Sweet disturbance, keeps my mind awake.
As I hear the steady of the storm just barely setting in.

The bed begins to move, as your body begins to change.
My head falling lightly on your chest, resting.
Your heart beat, pulsing in my ear.
Falling easily back into sleep, to the safe sound of a rhythmical drum.

Some nice imagery and contrast but the colour you're chosen for the font is rather off putting.

The imagery in this poem is sweet and calming - as if the reader was put in the shoes of the narrator. Some repetition here could be avoided:

The bed begins to move, as your body begins to change.

A real distraction is your use of the word 'as'. It's used far too much when there is a wide vocabulary of language to substitute it for. I'd suggest looking into that if you find yourself unaware of some of them.

Sweet disturbance, keeps my mind awake.

This is a very gentle line, that really speaks softly to the reader for a beautiful effect.

Good work, galigator!

This is a very gentle poem which soothes the reader.

I feel the warmth of you next to me, your skin to mine.

Here, I think you should cut the 'of you'

Sweet disturbance, keeps my mind awake.

Loved this!

As I hear the steady of the storm just barely setting in.

Maybe cut 'of the'

Very nice galigator! Look forward to more.