Thread: New Love

(A collaborative poem by Olly Buckle and SilverMoon)


Your mind may wander out the window,
if it’s got no place to go.

When you’re caught by passion
there’s pacing to and fro.
You wander and wonder
if you’ll ever be her beau.

And love is such a fleeting thing,
slight as the smallest feather,
alighting on a sparrow’s wing,
chancing stormy weather.

Blackbird’s ethereal song
heard beneath the sparrow’s wing.
Now, love springs wings and sings along.
It‘s such a pure and simple thing.

I, walking through the lanes of time,
will likely find no sleep,
with the drip, drop, dip
of the stream’s summer seep;
loud in the humid night.

It’s this night when she is mine.
Her lips cushion my barren heart.
The wind's calm song and sips of wine
make me sure we‘re near to part.

Should there be silence and not a drop to drink
will my love still be, in the sober light of day?

Hearts flutter like sparrow’s wings.
Our love is bound to stay.

What a great idea! You two make a good writing team. I think it's absolutely beautiful, bravo to you both!

hmmmm a new Simon and Garfunkel?

Thanks, Cindy. A fun and very rewarding project. I want to be Simon but it's only fair that discuss this with Olly.

Fantastic. I liekd it.
I love the bird illustrations. well done.
However I would swap 'Wander' and 'Wonder'. It just sounds better to me.

I like the idea and love the poem. The first 2 lines

Your mind may wander out the window,
if it’s got no place to go.

are captivating, keeping me interested in the "NEW LOVE".

This is beautiful! I like the collaborative idea, too. I worked really well.

Thank you, Arch, Nellie and Foxee. Olly and I had a blast pulling this together. Just a few PM swaps and a poem. You all should try it. A real experience. Just pick a writing buddy, trail write, piece together in PM, make suggestions then the final polish. Nellie you were captivated by the same line as I.

Now the experience has mushroomed into a couple's competition. Anyone interested just go to Olly's
thread, here, "Co-operative Effort" where he explains the guidelines for the competition. Nevertheless, it's a true winning experience! Laurie

This is a wonderful example of what happens when kids play nice together. It's no secret that I'm not much for love poems, but this, I really liked. It's not overly sappy, and I'm big on birds, so I found it easy to embrace. I have to jump on the bandwagon regarding those first two lines, very fine work, Olly. I'm particularly partial to stanzas 3,4, and 5, (I consider the first two lines a stanza), especially S3 which rolls off the tongue so gracefully. I know I asked you about "near to part" Laurie, but I've figured it out on my own. I think you mean ne'er, as it is now, it sounds as if they're breaking up. One other question, should the dip in "drip, drop, dip" also be drip? I love the alliteration of "stream's summer seep" as well as the duality of sober, very clever that. This is an exceptional effort, guys, I hope you'll do another soon.

Thanks Lisa. I'm partial to the fifth stanza also which is Olly's doing. I can really picture the seen. And so you know, "near" means "never". Sorry, I didn't get back to you early enough. So glad you liked! Laurie

Thank you every one, sorry I have left it all to Silver Moon so far, non forum stuff has been grabbing my attention a bit. A confession, 'the stream's summer seep' is not original, I can't remember where I picked it up exactly, it was too long ago, but it stuck, seemed appropriate, and I don't think that a few words constitute plagiarism.
It was great fun to do, I hope you all will join in the contest and share the experience.

Wait a sec...the team-up idea was really worthwhile. It's sometimes hard to get two good heads to agree on something. I dunno, but that is just what I feel. But anyway, the exemplary show is worth trying.


At a certain point towards the end of the poem, there was an echo of some sort of breakup (I would love a pinch on that, perhaps) then came the confirmation of a deathless love. Well, that the lil' part. Great write, great collabo.

Do you know after all the back and forth pms I had not picked up the near - never thing, I had simply taken it as near, either in the common sense, that they did not expect it to last, or in a more philosophical sense, that the life of man is short and the new lover of today is with us only for a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. I was quite impressed by the duality, and by the way she had not gone for the easy ending, everything wine and roses or everything doom and gloom, but for something which, whilst far from belittling the human condition, also put it into perspective. You did, you meant that as well, didn't you?

I absolutely loved this Poem! "And love is such a fleeting thing,slight as the smallest feather"--Beautiful! BUT---what really intrigued and fascinated me--was the collaborative effort that went into this project. I love that a male and female collaborated together on a love poem! Well done, Olly and Laurie!

jul, I dub you WF's Archival Archaeologist. That you take the time to go into our caves and bring poems, long shadowed, up and into the light reflects your curious and generous nature. Thank you.

It was a delight working with Olly. A true gentleman of talent, at once very strong and elegant. I learned much from him during our back and forth PM's.

And, yes, the true beauty of it all was joining this creative effort with a man. Was a first for me, never to be forgotten.

Now, I must let him know that our poem is back again!

Again, thank you, jul. Laurie

This left me breathless, Laurie. It's absolutely beautiful, like a classic poem, wanted to read it over and over. Hats off to you and Olly for such a superb effort.