Thread: Stare, You're Blind

Stare, stare, because you must
all eyes blinded with lust
by the voluptuous bust
of our lady in trust.

Stare, stare, because you must
all you males' outer crusts!

Well now, Cindy, you certainly did bring up the topical in your poem! Poetry, a very good venue for catharsis...

I was very drawn to your title and after reading the first two lines loved it even more. I did not really grasp "our lady of trust". Needs clarification. When I read "outer crusts" I immediately thought of a scab or pie crust. Here, I do think could handle the imagery a little bit more distinctly. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to give you a couple of suggestions which might help out.

Stare, stare, because you must
all eyes blinded with lust
by the voluptuous busts
of our women who trust

Stare, stare, because you must
all you males' be off with the dust!

This poem has a very Dorothy Parkeresque tone. I would look into her, prone to witt. Do a little going over and you might see what I mean. Would love to read more of an array of the the "compact message". Laurie

Laurie,

"our lady in trust" is referring to a young women with a gorgeous body with all men staring at her and making oohs and aahs.
I'm going to re-write part of it. Thanks for your input.

Stare, stare, because you must
all eyes blinded with lust
by the voluptuous bust
of our lady in trust.

Stare, stare, because you must
all you males, what's the fuss?
You like the bust or the fanny?
Some day, she's yo' granny!