Thread: A plea to my Freedom Fighters (Language Warning)

It's been a while since I've posted on this site, and it's been a while since I've written anything. If you need context for anything in this poem, just ask.

Disclaimer:

Adult Content

An anarchist as an elected official is like
An atheist being the pope under the steeple.
They’re both called infiltration. They’re deceptive and they’re wrong.
If you can’t comprehend that, then your moral compass is gone.


You can’t end war by shooting a gun, and
You can’t end the state by winning an election.
Imagine all the people you were fighting who surrender
Would you really have won when the war is over?
How do you plan to keep them in line
When they play their old tricks to win the social mind?
Will you put them in jail because they broke the social contract?
Or will you outlaw them so they can have no human contact?
If they have no choice, but to sign your documents,
Have you still won the war to free humans?


The truth is, you have to let people make their own decisions,
That, my friends, is the only way we can win this.
Life’s not all about ends, it’s mostly about means.
But both must be consistent if you want to free Keane.


I’m talking about methods for ending the state,
Which everyone keeps telling me is not up for debate.
Well, the baby boomers morally destroyed generation
By refusing to talk about politics or religion.
So I say we put everything on the table,
Because refusing to talk is a silent betrayal.


Don’t take offense to my forward thought.
Our revolution won’t start until we find the root cause
Of why people, as a whole, aren’t soaking up all of our knowledge.
It’s because they see us idol worship when we say “those sheep are lost.”


The truth is,
This is a dangerous time to be begging your oppressors.
Telling them you’re their boss, when you have no real recourse.
Yeah you may delay the police state due to a public stance,
But you’re just giving them time for their technology to advance.
So when they do come down, their grip will be stronger,
While you allow their targets to focus on you longer.


Our goal should be to set examples, not be martyrs.
Cause when you hold someone that high, their words are easily distorted.
So fuck Ron Paul, fuck Molyneux, fuck Rothbard, and fuck Thoreau.
The truth is inside you, and if you study yourself, you’ll learn all you need to know.

Do we need to add language warnings now? I'm sorry. I didn't know that. I guess I come from the time on this board when everyone was writing like Bukowski, and no one cared.

The poem is didactic, platitudinous, and lifeless. Some people will look no further than the content and claim it is a good poem because of the content -- because, really, who wouldn't agree with your sentiments, or at least some of them? -- but you must get off the soapbox. Take a look at George Starbuck's poem "Of Late" to see a good anti-war poem:

Of Late

“Stephen Smith, University of Iowa sophomore, burned what he said was his draft card”
and Norman Morrison, Quaker, of Baltimore Maryland, burned what he said was himself.
You, Robert McNamara, burned what you said was a concentration
of the Enemy Aggressor.
No news medium troubled to put it in quotes.

And Norman Morrison, Quaker, of Baltimore Maryland, burned what he said was himself.
He said it with simple materials such as would be found in your kitchen.
In your office you were informed.
Reporters got cracking frantically on the mental disturbance angle.
So far nothing turns up.

Norman Morrison, Quaker, of Baltimore Maryland, burned, and while burning, screamed.
No tip-off. No release.
Nothing to quote, to manage to put in quotes.
Pity the unaccustomed hesitance of the newspaper editorialists.
Pity the press photographers, not called.

Norman Morrison, Quaker, of Baltimore Maryland, burned and was burned and said
all that there is to say in that language.
Twice what is said in yours.
It is a strange sect, Mr. McNamara, under advice to try
the whole of a thought in silence, and to oneself.

What does Starbuck's poem have that yours does not? For one, it is witty. It takes clippings from real journalism pieces and infuses them with poetry to make its point. It does not attack the reader or give grandiose statements that are better suited for political rallies.

I should have mentioned, mine is for a few specific people. That's why it's talking with conviction. It's not something I would publish as a poem. If you notice, it's completely different than any other poems I've written

Originally Posted by TinyMachines

Do we need to add language warnings now? I'm sorry. I didn't know that. I guess I come from the time on this board when everyone was writing like Bukowski, and no one cared.

That's okay, not many read the guidelines, but yes, we do. I'm not sure when the guidelines were set in place, but they were definitely here when I began posting at the start of 2008. I guess people care now and I see no harm in warning those who may be offended by strong language. It's a small price to pay to stay within the guidelines; one could even surmise it attracts attention. *shrug*

And cheers, ash somers.