Thread: Distortion and Discourse

Anything can be distorted;

between the contortions of face saving
and one-on-one brain storming
over body language and dissecting
silence to determine where
motivation has its basis

students of the social dance
and unspoken etiquette
forget lessons
scribbled in the margins,
more or less content
to marvel at their baby steps.

A stumble here, you balance there
a lesson in vertigo and language:
smooth and rich, like cream on the tongue;
sharp, barbed, full of sarcasm and rhetoric;
or neither of the above, words in no-man's land
a cipher that might approximate hate or love.

Something sticks, a foundation
fresh and imprinted with a flick
of the tongue, a twist of the lips,
a quick look back behind a shoulder
received and impossible to forget.

The sender knows more than you.

Anything can be distorted.

Edgewise, a very interesting and thourough exploration of body language and the spoken word. It moved smoothly and kept my interest all the way through.

I think this is your best stanza because of the tight knit contrasting you have going on but not the least your deep thinking which is evident throughout the poem. Here are my colorful contrasts:

A stumble here, you balance there
a lesson in vertigo and language:
smooth and rich, like cream on the tonque;
sharp, barbed, full of sarcasm and rhetoric;
or neither of the above, words in no-man's land
something that might approximate hate or love.

Powerful. Got a little chill, there, because we can easily be tricked by those sad eyes, so to speak.

The sender knows more than you

I liked this repeated at begining and end. It's the bookends for the poem.

Anything can be distorted.

My only nit is that you didn't capitalize initial letter in S1 and S2.

A great read. Enjoyed much. Laurie

Much appreciated Laurie. Wasn't sure the bookends worked. Glad to hear they do.

I really like the idea behind this one. We truly do have a conversation without words and sadly the body language usually tells the truth whereas our spoken language doesn't. This stanza really struck home to me, who hasn't received one of these 'silent messages' that shouted louder than words? Great poem.

Something sticks, a foundation
fresh and imprinted with a flick
of the tongue, a twist of the lips,
a quick look back behind a shoulder
received and impossible to forget.

Thanks Gumby.

Your bookends are spot on, this coming from a former library rat whose job was such. This is an excellent piece, Edge. I've long grown weary of ciphering a shoulder's song, but you made me recall how grateful I am that sometimes what is said is real. For the most part, lips don't match hips, and I haven't the patience to be an interpreter, too many things simmering on the fire. Why can't people say what they mean? If they did our lives would be so much better. Excellent piece, love, you always seem to dig into what really matters. Kudos.