display your banner here

Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Her

  1. #1
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6

    Her

    removed

  2. #2
    WF Veteran SilverMoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    In Own Imagination
    Posts
    1,385
    Blog Entries
    4
    Cindy, In your first stanza, I see an innocent girl who's lost her virginity
    silken sheets,
    stained with blood of innocence
    to a man or a boy who falsely worshiped her to relent to his desire.
    He had made her feel immortal,
    worshipped by eyes, hands, lips-
    This line really causes me to have compassion for this girl who once, not long ago, must have felt like a goddess. I'm glad you italisized "human" as it strongly drives home the sad point that she "has" fallen of the pedestal he made for her. To be "feel" human again, knowing of her folly.
    Now fallen, empty; human
    A beautful yet sad poem. And only some realize that there is beauty in sadness when rendered on the page.
    This poem examples this. A wonderful, touching read. Laurie
    Last edited by SilverMoon; 07-10-2010 at 06:36 PM.
    "Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light" Groucho Marx
    http://www.punksoulpoet.com/2011/04/inspired-by-the-artist-andrea-wch/#top"Emalyne"
    http://www.motleypress.artandsole.org.uk/Issue1opt.PDF
    "No Forgiveness for the Chrysalis"


  3. #3
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Thank you Laurie, you summed it up perfectly.

  4. #4
    Writer
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    In your back yaard
    Posts
    46
    Blog Entries
    1
    I really like this poem especially the first stanza, and i agree with laurie its beautiful and sad.

  5. #5
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Ah, youthful indescretions. They can certainly mark us for the rest of our lives. Thankfully we can usually come to terms with them and maybe even offer a little wisdom to our youth.

    Thanks for your comments, un named

  6. #6
    Poetry Moderator Chester's Daughter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Queens, New York
    Posts
    2,425
    Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Brilliantly captured, love. Far too many of us are fooled by the seemingly true words of false prophets. So many left behind to clean up the ashes. I could rant for fourteen paragraphs, but I won't. I don't understand the caps for shepherd's crook, lower case is far more deserving, but I think you are trying to indicate the depth of his power over her. If so, I stand corrected. An excellent and very moving piece, love, your progression brings joy to my heart. Write on, dear Cindy!

  7. #7
    Administrator
    Gumby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    I see you.
    Posts
    5,218
    Blog Entries
    6
    Thanks again Lisa. I actually used those caps as a sort of ironic title, or name. He is certainly is deserving of the crook part. I knew you would have sympatico with my poor little lamb.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •