Thread: The Check

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This is deceptively simple, but there is a story hidden in this that is hinted at by this simple image: "Man-sized hands." That image tells me what I need to know.

Nicely done.

Thank you again, van. You are correct.

Cindy, Very tender and especially your banger last few lines:

this bargain hunter's paradise-
the best deal
had been free.

I did the get the situation in the first stanza and you carried out expertly throughout the poem. I worked in an adult home and some of the residents were of this man's ilk and witnessed how the little things in life were so precious to them. Funny, in this respect, we miss out.

pushing of the cart.

You would have thought it was a Porshe

A beautiful compassionate poem. Laurie

This was extremely well laid out. It flowed so smooth that I found myself reading it three times straight just for giggles.
As for the man sized hands, I'm right behind VGE on this. It sets the foundation of the concept brought up in the first stanza.

mum, head barely reaching his shoulders
walked tall beside him.

The best line in my opinion, due to the personal nature it holds for me. (Thought you'd might like to know)

EDIT Complimentary ending: Keep up your brilliant way of writing.
P.S And this little gem has made me ponder re-reading some of your older work.

Laurie, thank you much. With your very compassionate nature, you must have been a great asset to the home in which you worked. I agree with you, that those of us who are ' right ' in the head miss out on many of the simple joys in life.

MeeQ, thank you for reading and commenting on this one. So glad you liked the line that you quoted, I added it after van commented on the poem, in hopes it might enhance the idea that this is a grown man we're watching. I'm assuming your mum is short compared to you, so this brings a tender thought to your mind, I'm glad if this is so.

accolades. This is a moving poem.

I have been wondering lately about the "ignorance is bliss" idea. My 9 month old baby is the happiest thing I have ever seen. She sees one of her dads and laughs. She sees grandma and laughs. She sees a favorite toy and laughs. She sees a commerncial on the television about breakfast cereal and laughs. You peek around the corner at her and she laughs. She drops her binky on the floor and laughs. Ceiling fans and water fountains and going down to the basement make her squeal with joy. Maybe we should be trying harder to shed our adult cares and be thrilled at little things like the guy in your poem and my baby.

Absolutely. You get to see in her the great joy she has over simple things in life, and through her you get to feel that joy again. What a blessing they are, these children. Even the ones who come in grown up packages. Thank you, Alan.

Touching piece Gumby. The characters are the strength. If it were a child acting like a child, the piece would have stood as average, even if well crafted. But the image of a man (who I picture as huge, a gentle giant) playing out his child-like innocence under the watchful, proud eyes of his mother is extremely powerful. The last stanza, and the last two lines especially, could not be better..."the best deal had been free"...I like to think for both the narrator as well as for the mother and son; certainly for the reader.

Awesome piece.

Thank you Edge, for your assessment and your very kind words.

this is an amazing poem its beautiful yet somehow sad, and its really touching. I especially like the last stanza

Sorry un named, I just now saw your comment.

Thank you for your sweet words, you described the way I felt exactly. Sad, yet very touched.

How wonderful to have you back, love, and bearing such gifts. This piece is absolutely beautiful and reminds me of a young man quite similar to yours who made my Christmas a few years back. The story is too long to tell, but thank you for seeing what I saw and putting it into words so eloquently. The "best deal" is often free, yet we're too wrapped up to notice. I doubt I'll be so oblivious after reading this piece.