Thread: The Ocean Writhes

the ocean writhes
against the shore
mating with a
steady undulation

breathes and sighs
on pulsing surface
sway the pliant
liquid walls

mist forms like sweat
from the pores
of the white tipped
rolling mounds.

it spreads itself
across its lover
then pulls back
in a gentle caress.

the lolling sea
soothes, smooths
seeps into the
receptive shore

life forms from
the mating and is
nurtured by its
cool womb

rising from
its embrace
to slap away
the gentle caress

return to stab
twist the knife
till black blood
oozes through

the wound
bleeds despite
the pressure
at the touch of

human hands
the ocean writhes.

van, what a remarkable metaphor, employing the ocean and all its activity with the shore, for the human "relationship" Sensual, sexual, the birthing and then it all goes wrong. I was rivited and read it several times. First to gleen your meaning, delighted to find the hidden treasures, and then several times for the pure pleasure. Stanzas then lines. I fear I might call them brilliant all to often. So I won't repeat myself, I will say, here, that your poem is a brilliant one!

"liquid walls" what a way to describe to shore!

sway the pliant
liquid walls

My interpretation: you're describing woman's breasts "rolling mounds" in sweat during the act of making love - "mist forms like sweat" a marvelous similie (See? I used marvelous instead of brilliant. I'm trying to empoy enallages, here!)

mist forms like sweat
from the pores
of the white tipped
rolling mounds.

A very smooth alliteration.

the lolling sea
soothes, smooths
seeps into the
receptive shore

Here, I detect that the honemoon is over.

rising from
its embrace
to slap away
the gentle caress

The relationship turns sour. Maybe ready for divorce court?! I hear, though, a cacophony. An abrubt departure from the melody of the poem. Too harsh sounding, compared to all before it. Pehaps you can make the same point by alluding to dark clouds or a storm and how it affects the water and shore. Something of the sort.

return to stab
twist the knife
till black blood
oozes through

the wound
bleeds despite
the pressure
at the touch of

I thought and thought and could not come up with its meaning. Here, you alluded me. And am anxious to be enlightened!

human hands
the ocean writhes.

In S5 L1 you mention "sea" whereas throughout the rest of the poem you mention "ocean". That's it. Last nit!

You took me on quite the journey. And I felt like an archaeologist digging deep, which is alway my thrill. And I came upon the reading at the most perfect time. I've been sluggish all morning and thanks to you, I'm wide awake and ready to forge on. Feel like I've just had a double expresso! Thank you, van, for this poem. I think it's one of your most outstanding pieces that I've read. In fact, I think it is "The" piece. Laurie

This was so beautiful I forgot to breathe while reading. It got my vote. Due to recent events coupled with the final stanzas, my interpretation is completely different than Laurie's. It is no secret that I'm not wrapped too tight so I wasn't going to say what I thought because I am most likely incorrect. Then I thought, what the hell. The mating of shore and sea gave rise to all living things, including man. Man in turn, reciprocates by polluting his "mother" with sewage and oil spills. I was going to say it all pretty like, but if I'm right, you've already done that stupendously in a fashion I could never duplicate. I love this piece, Van, bless you for writing and sharing it.

Originally Posted by ChestersDaughter

The mating of shore and sea gave rise to all living things, including man. Man in turn, reciprocates by polluting his "mother" with sewage and oil spills.

Lisa nailed the meaning of those last few verses here, Laurie.

Thank you both for your thoughtful comments and interpretations.

Laurie, I am drinking a cappuccino as I read your comment. Glad my poem could perk up your day. I wanted the alliteration of the "s" and the smaller syllable count of the short word "sea". I used it like a sailor might refer to the "seas," not like a smaller body of water than an ocean. Thanks for your wonderful complementary words.

Lisa, I'm glad you wrote your interpretation; it is spot on. Thanks for the vote.

Once again Mr Painter, you have out done yourself. Thus contributing to the already large envy I have for your writing.

As I once was myself a sailor, this speaks true to the heart. And as I am at present in love with everything that is female sexual behaviour, I fin you have me on both fronts.
While I have tried to tear into this with both hands, Mz Moon has already beaten me to the punch. (Though honestly I must admit, I had far less to say that was necessary)

breathes and sighs
on pulsing surface
sway the pliant
liquid walls

Already touched on in a manner that I could never truly explain. This was my favourite stanza... easily. And considering I’ve always been a sucker for an ending rather than an introduction, you surprise me… like usual.


The way you describe a situation with simple yet powerful metaphors is in my opinion your greatest strength, and if you get even the smallest understanding of what dribbling shit comes from my mouth, understand this at least.

Thanks MeeQ, I always worry about making imagery about themes others know much better than I do, such as your having been a sailor, so I am glad that my piece about the ocean works for you. I have spent a lot of time by the ocean, I worked in a seaside town in NJ for 14 years and went to look at the beach almost every day I was there.

Thanks for your comments.

Just beautiful, Van! You have indeed painted a moving picture here, ( no pun intended ).