Thread: - Holiday Over Rice -

the calendar is
read, It's Flag Day, Calen-Dar
The Keeper Of All
The Days of our Lives speaks at
the lower margin, from the

box before Tuesday,
after empty Sunday giv'n
for Ye G-ds & your
Country, like the Sisyrines
up Iwo readied, white &

blue hosed by Betsy's
blooper... the Newspapers say
It's Flag Day decreed
in Congress, of course present
the Colors - 'Ten-Shun! Pre-Sent

'Harms!? the Hammer &
Sickle gone, newer Flagthreats
'merge like banderas
at the borders of the job
marauders, Los Panuelos

unfurled mopping, mop-
ping furrow & spill & spills
whose health doesn't care
panuelos drenched & draped like
cerecloths for the Icon

the Anthem we cry
from the box b'fore Ye G-ds
ESPN (Ecce
Sanctum Circenses Potestas)
Starstrangled O'Bummer, time

will tell, only if
we can tell Time which will not
listen... Calen-Dar
The Keeper Of All The Days
of our Lives speaks yet we do

not rally 'cept for
a Flag day...Believe It, Jack!?
Tread-on? It's a wrap!

H.e.m.-H'H.
6.14.MMx.

Yesterday, I did not fly the flag near my door so I expect Betsy Ross will be haunting my dreams and Congress will be knocking at my door by tomorrow. The latest.

I'm interested why you didn't spell out Gods but hyphenated? In plural it should be "gods". But then you're not one to abide by the rules!

Ye G-ds & your
Country,

Though I'm not up on Morlde politics it's seems that is exactly what you are getting at, as in most of your poems.
e.g.

newer Flagthreats
'merge like banderas
at the borders of the job
marauders, Los Panuelos

Threats by the Middle East

Los Panuelos

unfurled mopping, mop-
ping furrow & spill & spills
whose health doesn't care
panuelos drenched & draped like
cerecloths for the Icon

Mopping and spills referring to the concentration camps? War shed? Panuelos wrapped in death with waxed cloth (And I can't help but think of the women in chadors)

white &

blue hosed by Betsy's
blooper...

Absolutely fabulous imagery! (and you got those illiterations in there). I think about "blue hosed" as a double entendre. The blue hosed stocking then hosed down. "Betsy's blooper" our own country's foibles?

like the Sisyrines
up Iwo readied

I streched my mind like salt water taffy and came up with nothing. Splain Lucy?

Starstrangled O'Bummer

Excellent to the eye but uncertain to my ear.

Haro, you have created a "Word Salad" but all that is in it is strategically placed.

Alway a delight to read into your meanings, regardless if I'm right or wrong. I know you'll come back with a "You got it" or a "clarification". Yours, Laurie

Interesting enjambments.

I have to say that you have one of the most identifiable styles of anyone on this forum. I could tell one of your pieces without a signature with no problem. Items such as the word play

readied, white & blue

Your inventive use of caps, italics, ellipses and dashes,

listen... Calen-Dar
The Keeper Of All The Days

show this to be one of your uniquely styled writings.

TY, SilverMoon - In Judaic law, It is forbidden to utter certain names (there are a multitude) for the Lord, so the term is abbreviated, usually with a dash, however, as you have observed, I employ various permutations of this requisite.

No, the threats are ostensibly, here, from immigrants along the Mexican border; "mopping & spills" is intended to reference the Gulf; you are accurate to a point; "Starstrangled..." - listen again to the sonics & get back; TY for imbibing at my "salad bar," nibbles fare better, more digestible & savory - H'H.

TY, vg - You have an ear (at least) for my Work; I am appreciative of your grasp for my employ of the motifs you reference, each perspicaciously-chosen for their suitability & enhancement of the selective piece. "It ain't easy bein' green," but the difference is the fuel which drives my engines, & the fuel, consequently, is burned cleanly & with renewable residue - H'H.

What one will get in the minute might not get in the minutes before. Could be talking about hours or days. Timetrickings. wink

Starstrangled

Of course, you reference the Star Spangled Banner.

Starstrangled The sound? Runs even and speedy for me. A brilliant portmanteau word!

Minutia: The song was originally named "Defence of Fort McHenry" But I bet you could have done something with that! Poet Lauriette

PL - Knew you'd get It; well, there's more-alluding than to the "...Banner" there (http://poetryinbaltimore.com/smf/ind...opic=18600.0); I will tuck-away/tuck-a-hoe, "In Defence Of Fort McHenry"... TY for the gracious review(s) - H'H.

the "Chevy Car-chase-of-chases that defies all... and
you can bet yer Kings 'n McQueens on that!"

A Haroizm if I haven't heard one! Loving them.

"Kings" Free associating. I'm going to indulge myself here on your thread a little if you don't mind. A special kind of "King" entered my mind. When in college, we were asked to write an essay. "What would be the one thing you'd leave behind for the next civilization to discover?" I left behind a Burger King. The Statue of Liberty holding a hand full of chemicals rather than the flame of imprisoned lightening. That torch held aloft. Torch of freedom, the flame of hope, the promise of the future.

Written in fiction genre (with approval). Of course, a satire on what commercializm
has done to our civilization.

God help me, Haro, I can't imagine what you would leave behind!

Now, back to your link

will explain
why there's food
named "mortadella!"

OK. Is mortadella better than a Burger King?

FLP

Addendumb! It always seems to be the next day that I realize a personal foible. I hope you will accept my apology for giving an account of my college paper, having little to do with your poem.

Back to you, with pleasure.

Originally Posted by Constantine

don't want this poem to get lost with the levity. it reveals its depth with subsequent readings -there are no loose ends. well thought out as your poems always are. deceptive in its wordplay; i've learned that what appears punnish is far more than that. sometimes though i think your message is too important to be delivered in an obscure manner, but that's just me.

The great thing she said was: i've learned that what appears punnish is far more than that.

However, I disagree that your poems get lost in levity. You only enhance your points, in my mind with your amusing, brilliant turns. You make your poems "audience friendly", as I see it. And that you deal with material of such serious matter, a balance is required. A spring here and there. And, really, that just boils down to the technical!

i think your message is too important to be delivered in an obscure manner

Strongly disagree! I've been doing it. I say work for it. And it's all relative. Who "got" T.S. Elliot when he came on the scene? Who gets him now? Is he just a waste land for some? Yes. For some. Sorry, a bad. I punnish myself!

You know better than anyone that to s-p-e-l-l out a message is not the stuff of even average poetry.

Yes. Your poems "are" obscure and they have caused me to invite Merrium over and then make closer friends with Google. They both get along well and I'm all the wiser. Isn't this part of what interperative poetry is all about? Learning, then feeling.

OK. Is mortadella better than a Burger King?

I answer my own question. Not even an italian sausage (which might have a meaning I've yet to grasp) stands up to Burger King. Afterall, the Statue of Liberty is holding it. PLF

I am engaging this piece as a North American reader by the way.

There are so many problems with the peice, I can't even begin to start. Slow down! Christ, there is no reason to bombard your reader with so many different ideas.

Just concentrate on what you are trying to say. Do you know what you're trying to say? Your centrain point is completely lost. If not, YOU tell me what it is and how I can connect the dots.

In essence, your poem tells me nothing. I'll recommend that you read Emily Dickinson. She was able to accurately capture the essence of a..., well person.

Originally Posted by Reese

I am engaging this piece as a North American reader by the way.

There are so many problems with the peice, I can't even begin to start. Slow down! Christ, there is no reason to bombard your reader with so many different ideas.

Just concentrate on what you are trying to say. Do you know what you're trying to say? Your centrain point is completely lost. If not, YOU tell me what it is and how I can connect the dots.

In essence, your poem tells me nothing. I'll recommend that you read Emily Dickinson. She was able to accurately capture the essence of a..., well person.

Perhaps you could be more specific, Reese? Your critique tells me nothing. And I hardly think it's appropriate for the OP to faciliate your dot joining capabilities, or lack thereof.

As I mentioned earlier, an example of your work would perhaps be an excellent way of providing the specifics of which you speak, yes?

I look forward to seeing you share some of your work with the forum.

Regards, ash.

"I look forward to seeing you share some of your work with the forum."

Yeah, good point.

I'm not really a poetry kind of guy...does that discount me from adding my 2 cents?

Originally Posted by Reese

"I look forward to seeing you share some of your work with the forum."

Yeah, good point.

I'm not really a poetry kind of guy...does that discount me from adding my 2 cents?

Certainly not Reese, but at this point I would highly recommend you read over the 'Poetry Posting Guidelines' to assist with your comments.

And my apologies to HaroHalola for derailing his thread.

Originally Posted by Reese

In essence, your poem tells me nothing. I'll recommend that you read Emily Dickinson. She was able to accurately capture the essence of a..., well person.

Is Emily Dickinson the only poet you're familiar with, Reese? You suggested her to another writer yesterday. I'll bet many writers on this forum are very familiar with Emily Dickinson as well as as many other poets of the past.

I'm not really a poetry kind of guy...does that discount me from adding my 2 cents?

Reese, what you have to say is worth much more worth than two cents. Your "words" are priceless to the devil.

Rob banned you last week for your blatent insulting remark. Ash has spoken with you last night about behaving yourself.

All this and you continue to run rampant through the board insulting member's work.

I took you to the top, Reese. Your games are comming to an end. You are a detriment to members here. And I'm worn of hearing about Emily Dickinson. This boardaring on harrassment. Look into the Guidelines. I am sure you are enjoying all this attention, Reese. Might I suggest you put your energy into something productive in your life.
Laurie