Thread: A Teardrop Sonnet

The rain slowly falls from the sky
I wonder if I will ever see you again
When I realize the answer I start to cry
Every day there is more and more pain.

You look down on me from the heavens
Oh, daddy, how I wish you were still here
I thank God that I have my dear Kevin
‘cause he helps dry my every tear.

Every memory I have of you I cherish
It saddens me to never hear your voice
Ever since you died my life has been garish
Why was that your choice?

Your memories pump through my veins
And these teardrops will keep leaving stains.

We had to do form poems in my introduction to poetry this past semester and this was my sonnet. What do you guys think?
-Eden

Can't say I like the content too much - It's a bit too direct for me.

Wat I really liekd was how it all comes together with a flow and rhyming. That's really cool. I aim for this sort of thing in my own writigns, though I can't do it on longer scales, which I consider yours to be.

Cool yo .

Originally Posted by Eden.Kaye

The rain slowly falls from the sky
I wonder if I will ever see you again
When I realize the answer I start to cry
Every day there is more and more pain.

You look down on me from the heavens
Oh, daddy, how I wish you were still here
I thank God that I have my dear Kevin
‘cause he helps dry my every tear.

Every memory I have of you I cherish
It saddens me to never hear your voice
Ever since you died my life has been garish
Why was that your choice?

Your memories pump through my veins
And these teardrops will keep leaving stains.

We had to do form poems in my introduction to poetry this past semester and this was my sonnet. What do you guys think?
-Eden

It has been 15 years or so since I attempted a sonnet. ( with good reason lol ) So even I had to go look it up.

Please do me a favor, and read this ok ? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonnet

You have your rhyme structure down. ( a teeny forced in some places *smiles* ) Your iambic pentameter is off as well as your syllable count for each line ( Now that also depends on what type of sonnet you are writing.)


Read that and you will understand better what I am talking about.

Yeah... It's school time.