Thread: Peeled

like a layer of skin.

Wrung and squeezed
my blood spatters
the dust.

Sloughed from the body.
Waste of an age
forgotten.

Lost as a whisper
of memory.

Searching for that place
where the moon swallows
the sea.




This one needs a lot of help. Is it clear what I'm talking about?

I like the images, Nathan, but I'm having trouble connecting them to any solid central subject.

Hun

I have to agree with Gumby on this one. It is not that it isn't well written. It is simply too vague.

I enjoyed the read though

Gumby and MaggieG - Thanks. I'm trying to get across- death of parts of yourself. Things that go un-noticed almost until years later someone reminds you how you used to be. Any ideas and/or help would be greatly appreciated.

Ok... take it from the beginning, layers of skin. We all know the epidermis thins as we age, and loses its elasticity. Take it from there. ( I would be inclined to describe it in clinical terms ) But connect the dots. Chose words that ALSO describe that emotional/ societal / mental "peeling" we all go through as we age as well :0

Hope that helps

Maggie - Thanks. That's very helpful. The ending's got to go. Shoe horned it in there.