Thread: Christina

Christina you are the one I love you more anything. Christina darling you are my fire. Christina baby please tells me that you love me as much I love you. Oh, Christina baby I cannot live without you. Christina honey I want to be with you forever. Christina you are the love of my life.
Christina you are more precious to me then all the money in the world. Oh, Christina darling I would go anywhere and do anything just for you. Christina I love you. Hey Christina darling what is wrong? Christina baby please tells me what is bothering you. Oh, honey you know I love you, so Christina do not hold anything back from me your one and only true love. Christina honey was it something I said or did. No baby it was not something you said or did. I am just not feeling well today that is all. Oh honey I love you as much you love me. Christina honey I am glad it was not that was making you upset Christina I am going to love you now and forever more. Christina you are the one I love you more Anything. Christina darling you are my fire. Christina baby please tells me that you love me as much I love you. Oh , Christina baby I cannot live without you. Christina honey I want to be with you forever. Christina you are the love of my life. Christina you are more precious to me then all the money in the world. Oh, Christina darling I would go anywhere and do anything just for you.

I'm not sure if you can classify this as a poem. Besides having repetition, it exhibits few other poetic characteristic. If you try to 'show' your feelings by describing an event, encounter, situation, actions, or images ... it is more engaging, personal, interesting and real than telling us about them as you have.

Hope this helps a bit.

Love,

Firebird

What Firebird said. This isn't a poem, it's sentence after sentence of cliched thought. It's not even good prose.

thank you for your input i've always had trouble with show vs tell

I am going to suggest something to you as an exercise . Sit down, and every THING Christina ever DID , describe it. Take those sentences ( yes write them in complete sentences ) and find the common thread in them ( other than her ) Get that far, then contact me please.

Hello Cassie,

This to me, is more like a gesture of love to Christina. By this I mean that you (or the fictional character) are so in love with Christina, that you can't wait to express how you feel.

As MaggieG suggested, write down everything you FEEL for Christina. Then re-write it again and again, until you have honed it down into a more plausable poem.

Remember you are trying to get your audience to connect with your emotions for Christina. There are plenty of writers here that you could look to for inspiration. That is all the above, Foxie, Edgwise, Gumby, Ollie and especially Chesters Daughter.

All of these people can give you sound advice on how to improve your writing technique. More importantly, by reading some of their work you can begin to understand how you, yourself can add emotion to your poems. Along with emotions you can also get to improve your descriptive imagery, thus bringing the audience on a journey with you.

There are various formats of writing poems. By reading some of the well established authors you will begin to get a feel for writing poetry.You just have read various styles and to practice more with each and everyone of these. This will help you to develop your own style and help stamp your brand in the poetry world.
Another thing to remember is to have a dictionary at hand. This will be helpful for when you are writing and when you are looking for a certain word, there will always be a variety out there that can help you. You just have to choose which one to use to add impact to your writing.

All the best.

wacker

Cassie, at the risk of being rude, why don't you try some of the things that people suggest? Your poems are almost written by formula, and the formula is wrong. It's so very very wrong that you are going to end up getting nowhere.

Essentially, what you do is take a reference (Christina, Candy Boy, etc.) and then repeat the reference in hackneyed clichéd lines until you get bored repeating yourself, and then post it. People advise you to try certain things, and you then post another poem that is pretty much the same, with all the same errors.

Okay, that said, this poem is different to your others. Instead of being centred text in a normal sized font in black, it's left aligned and f***ing huge and very orange text. Otherwise, it's business as usual.

Really, these people are being kind and helpful; listen to them and try because you obviously want to do it, and that's half the battle!

Good luck!

okay so my writing needs improvement