Thread: tear the pages

Revised version:

tear the pages
neatly
(who's to say
what's worthless
snips of life

handwritten,
printed,
obsolete. gone

worried about the end?
or not? still no

parenthesis




Original version:


tear the pages
neatly
(who's to say
what's worthless

handwritten,
printed by machine,
obsolete. gone

worried about the end?
or not? still

no parenthesis

This could be seen as soooooo many things. I see it as reading. No matter what method, mode, tear through the pages. Do not pause.

Much much enjoyed this read.

Thanks MaggieG for your comment. Wow, that is a totally different take than I had intended, but I see where it came from. I think I have to make some changes to make my intention less obscure, but I don't want it to scream its meaning because it is layered. As you said:

This could be seen as soooooo many things

I appreciated the abstraction of this piece but think you might tinker with the ending. This will sound odd out of the context, which I cannot recall, but an author had said that parenthesis equaled death in a particular piece of writing. I can see how this might apply?

worried about the end?
or not? still

no parenthesis

Originally Posted by SilverMoon

I appreciated the abstraction of this piece but think you might tinker with the ending. This will sound odd out of the context, which I cannot recall, but an author had said that parenthesis equaled death in a particular piece of writing. I can see how this might apply?

It absolutely does apply. Death is a major theme in this. I made a change to accent that same idea. Thanks Laurie.

Hmm. Intriguing. I like it. I took it to mean trying to forget someone or something. But that whatever that thing is isn't really over -- it's open ended.

I hope I win the prize.

It feels like what someone might be thinking while going through some of their old writings and poems. Heck it could even be your old correspondences. It is intriguing.

Originally Posted by Gumby

It feels like what someone might be thinking while going through some of their old writings and poems. Heck it could even be your old correspondences. It is intriguing.

The inspiration thought is someone going through the point of view person's accumulation of things after they have died. The open parenthesis is meant to have the reader troubled about the minutia of living (when will the author close the parenthesis) while the final momentous event to the point of view character has already occurred. They have lost everything whether valuable or not and we are troubled by a minor nonevent.

For what's it's worth, I actually got it, just didn't get here in time. I've done exactly this, but fully believe the parenthesis is never closed. Excellent piece depicting humanity. The stuff left behind is only meaningful for us.

Thanks Lisa.

I figured you would get this. I appreciate the comment.