Thread: It's About Time

Yesterday I was thinking about tomorrow
and now tomorrow is today,
So today I need to save time to make time
'cause I don't have time to waste time.
But time and time again
I try to go back in time
searching for Aristotle or Isaac and Einstein,
or H.G. Wells with his timeless Time Machine.
Not knowing how much time I have,
I fast forward to the future
wishing I could speak with Stephen
about how time changes things
and the time for every purpose.
At times I wonder if it's daytime, nighttime or what time.
If time stood still, perhaps it is the end of time,
or maybe it's the beginning of time,
What is time?
I only know, time flies and now
I'm out of time.

Nellie, you have good material to work with here. The concept of time. A real biggie! I would suggest picking out a particular instance in time. One concrete idea and work "around" it.

There's an over use of the word "time" and while I realize you're employing it for rhyming purposes, I read it redundently. There's a site called "RhymeZone" which I think would be of great help to you when constructing rhyme poems. So many other words for "time". It would add a great deal of richness to your poems. I give you great credit for tackling such a subject and look forward to reading more. Laurie

I have to agree with, Silver on the over use of the word, "time."

I really like the concept of this piece. And although the word "time" is used a lot, it doesn't bother me. It reads as if it's a play on words even though the word "time" does not really have multiple meanings which I think is a cool element to use. At the same time, I think the last three lines are unnecessary. They bring up a point that is explored in the previous lines; they make a conclusion that the reader can make on his or her own. And if you take out the "of time" in the fourth to last line, you are taking out four "times" which might help to alleviate the excess use of the word.

I really liked the poem, though. It's a great concept and a fantastic meaning and if you are going to revise this poem, there are many directions in which you can go that can be interesting and different. Good luck with this poem and great job. I enjoyed reading it.

I particularly like your repetition of "time". The overuse renders the term meaningless and by neutering it of meaning, it becomes a paradox at odds with the expressed theme of the piece (concern over/with/about time).

I'm glad to see you here, Cindy, welcome. I liked this very much the first time I read it and even more so this time around. Like Edge, I like the repetition and for the same reason as I am an obsessive clock watcher. Thank you for a few moments of time well spent. I pray you are feeling better and that your road to recovery is not too bumpy. As the idiot doctors are fond of saying, "It takes time, you know." Be well, hon.

Best,
Lisa

I think this is cool and creative. I think you could add some more punches to the time word, like: "not someones time" (implying death), or "about time" (implying waiting) and I'm sure there is more to chose from. You already have a nice play on the word though and I enjoyed it.

Thank you all for your replies, suggestions.

Silvermoon, Terrib- usually I do like word rhyme, but in this poem rhyming wasn't my intention at all. Perhaps I did use the word "time" too much, but in my opinion, time is virtually a concept as Edgewise suggests, so thanks, Edgewise. I was inspired to write this poem after reading a book by Stephen Hawking ~ "A Brief History In Time" and the Stephen I mention in the poem is this one, one of the greatest scientists of our time (another play on word).

Another book I am currently reading is "In search of Time- the Science of a Curious Dimension", and it talks of the difference in time throughout the ages and in different cultures, how they kept time and didn't keep track of time through the moon, stars, sea, sand, water or just by keeping their crops. It seems like as of now, the subject of time is a very "hot" issue in the scientific community, It is on the cover of "Scientific America".

Leah rose, I think I'll take the last 2 lines out, thanks.

Lisa, my hand is doing much better. I go back today to have the stitches out and start physical therapy. Thank you for asking.

Martin, Thank you for your kind words and I will work with your suggestions.