Thread: The Storm

Darkness is encroaching,
suffocating,
blue, the color of the clearest sea,
blanketed by rolling waves of
the softest gray,
so dark, it’s almost black.
The wind,
pounding against the window –
the steady beat of the bass drum
in a tribal dance –
as the trees,
the old-as-time oaks, maples,
the elm saplings,
throw their many limbs
in the air to that very same beat,
flailing as they release leaves for
the industry that is moving in the publication
of green and brown confetti,
which falls,
spinning in the wake of the wind.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
Drops of severe rain
create permanent tracks in the memory of
the window,
cool against my hands,
forehead, nose, and cheeks,
flush against the transparent plane
as I watch the spinning, flipping, flying, pelting,
leaves, acorns, pine cones,
twigs impaling the sparsely grassed yard,
mud, liquid, flowing, streaming,
destroying communities of the living,
the breathing:

And I stand there and watch the show.

Leah, I have to say you put me right there with you at that window. I could see it too, and that's a good thing in poetry.

I love very sensuous poetry.... If that's a good way to say it. And this is probably one of the better pieces of poetry that I have read. Kinda reminds me of when I was a child and when it would storm really bad here (just before a tornado) and how I would watch everything, even press my face up to the window. <3 Nostalgic times~

I agree with Gumby, I could have been at that window, too. This is a very visional poem. It seems at points quite destructive. There's the feeling at the end of the peom of powerlessness. I'm not sure if this is what you were getting at in this poem?

Thanks for a good read.

Love,

Firebird

I love storms and you have my nose mashed up against that pane also. Excellent imagery. I would have preferred stanzas, but your piece, your choice. A few nits that may only exist in this anal mind. You say softest gray and then follow with so dark, almost black. To me softest means muted or light in color so the two don't gel for me. "the industry that is moving in the publication" is a bit prosaic and seems out of place considering the rest of the language. Same applies to "severe rain" it's too plain. Not sure if "transparent plane" is a typo, perhaps pane? Lastly, and I know this one is just me, two lines end in of, I would move the of(s) down to the next line. Someone once advised me that ending in of is improper, I never researched it so I don't know if it's true or not, but I've never done it since. But again, your piece, your choice.

Please don't take my nitpicking as critical, it's actually a compliment. I only point out things that snag me when I truly enjoy a piece. I'm very much looking forward to reading more of your work and I thank you for sharing this very vivid piece.

Best,
Lisa