Thread: The Departure

In the wake of sudden enlightenment
Rebellion seems a necessary deed,
Revolution an emerging current,
Reverting a difficult, worthwhile creed
As opposed to the reoccurring theme
Of someone feigning vision in darkness
Only to be followed from stream to stream
And led deeper into the wilderness.
So mind and spirit lie on the outskirts
Feeding on the words of today's prophets
While hoping the message retrieves converts
Before the inevitable plummet
Into the darkest depths of perdition,
Forever engulfed in oblivion.

Hi, Da Prophecy. I think you have an excellent poem here.

Loved this...

Of someone feigning vision in darkness

The only nit I have is:

Only to be followed from stream to stream
And led deeper into the wilderness.

Eliminate and replace with comma. I think it would read stronger.

Thank you for a great read! Laurie

Thank you for reading and responding! I don't really know what to do about the line you have a small problem with (at least not without ruining the meter).