Gumby

The Old Woman and the Sea

I charted my course
with a sure, steady hand
for the mecca of choice
in consumer demand.

In my sleek, sexy sloop
(a wonky wheeled cart)
I sailed to the chain of aisles
known as Wal-Mart.

So treacherous, the tide
put my craft through her paces
I cast my net wide
for yellow, smiley faces.

When, off the port side
a curious sound
captured my ear
had me tacking around.

I cannot believe
no, I have to be wrong
I could swear I perceive
the sound of wail-song.

Their calls were quite jarring
so piercing and clear
and seemed to surround me
the sound was so near.

They came fast, into view
off the starboard bow
a pod of five calves
and three mature cows.

With their clicking and chatter
wailing and moans;
it shot straight up my spine
and 'shivered me bones'.

All, blowing and puffing
they passed on, to their goal;
spouting eight different songs
from eight separate blow holes.

I quickly grabbed on
to the sides of my sloop
and braced for the swell
the bob and the swoop.
(And the lingering smell
of diapers with poop.)

Seems, they were hot on the trail
hunting carb-laden starches
and quickly dove under
the big, Golden Arches.

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

James R. Henning

This was metaphorically brilliant. I had to read it twice, but I was definitely laughing once I got it. Was there any specific inspiration for this? And you know wal-mart got rid of the smiley faces, don't you? The fun is being sucked out of America, day-by-day.

__________________
Full many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy;
- William Shakespeare

Gumby

Thank you, James, for the read and comment. No, I didn't know the smiley faces were gone! I will always associate them with Wally World.

This was inspired by a mother and babydaughter I saw in walmart one day. They were calling back and forth, as mom pushed her baby in the cart. It struck me that it sounded like whale song. Then I started paying attention to other kids with moms and I began to think of wail song, instead.

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

apple

Hi Gumby, you are so clever and funny. You find so many odd and off kilter subjects to write your poems about and you do it so well. What a creative mind. I enjoy reading your work, What's next?

apple

Olly Buckle

Most amusing, I didn't think Americans really did puns but I like 'wail song'. normally one charts a course 'for' somewhere, and I think it wiould scan better than 'toward'.

Gumby

Apple... I never know what's next. It's funny you should think that I find odd subjects, as I was thinking the same thing of you! and admiring that aspect of your work. Thanks for the read and comment, happy you enjoyed.

Olly, your suggestion is noted and changed, thanks for that. I do not sail and it was a stretch for me to try and use the language here. Why would you think Americans don't do puns? Just curious.

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

Olly Buckle

Something an American friend resident here said about it being an English habit, we do do it rather a lot.

Gumby

Well, that makes sense. I do believe that you English have it perfected to an art form!

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

Olly Buckle

Hardly art, more likely to make you groan usually.

Cran

it's art for groan-ups ...



sorry, Gumby -

I've been laughing too much to post a reply before now ...
it's a grinner ...

__________________
"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones

Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!

Gumby

Thanks, Cran! I agree with your assessment of the groan-ups taste in art!

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

Lady S

I've already left a comment on this elsewhere. A really good laugh.

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Myspace

Seachránaí

ChestersDaughter

Lordy, Cindy, this is so freaking incredibly clever and hilarious to boot. Gotta echo James here, metaphorically brilliant, and pieces like these are so difficult to pull off, so one thousand gold stars for you. One little nit, S2, L3 is causing me to stumble, too many syllables. "Chain of aisles" is fantastic and I wouldn't want you to change it, but since you say "In my sleek, sexy sloop" perhaps in L3 you could change into to "to" or perhaps lose it entirely. Of course, this is just a suggestion and you could leave it as it is without detracting from the fact that this is one excellent piece. Kudos!

Best always,
Lisa

Gumby

Thank you, Lisa! I've been banging my head, trying to figure out how to fix that, and your suggestion works wonderfully! Thank you for your sweet words, they mean more to me than you can know!

__________________
"You learn a thing a day, you store up smart"
-- Festus Haggen--

ChestersDaughter

Glad to be of service, love. I just hope you'll return the favor when I'm in need, which should be very soon.