You Don't Know Me

Truth In Pain

Wake from the sleep you feign
Life cast away in disillusionment
Pain insane
Tells the truth from the merriment
Revelations that maim
Seperate the actual from the wishful
Pain that pains.


I'll admit it. I was watching House.

Anyway, I've never tried poetry before and I know what I wrote isn't exactly genius, but I desperately want to improve my poetry skills, or, as I'm just starting out, lack thereof. I don't know if this is an acceptable format for poems, or if there's such a thing as an acceptable format for poems. I would really love for someone to explain this to me - I've always been unclear

Baron

The best thing that you can do is to read as much poetry as possible by published poets. Here's a link to free e-books by poets ancient and modern:

Free Poetry eBooks e-Books

This is another site that you may find helpful:

modern poetry: its writing and appreciation

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Damien.

Another suggestion; try to stay away from rhyming in the beginning. It limits what you can do, what words you can choose.

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terrib

I don't see how yall can write poetry without rhyming....I thought that poems should rhyme....(sigh) things a girl has to learn to stay up with the big boys......you obviously haven't seen my cute little poem have you, Robert?

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On the one hand Nature urges us on to this desire by associating it with the noblest, most useful, and pleasant of all her acts; and on the other hand she allows us to condemn it and flee from it as from a shameless and immodest deed, to blush at it and recommend abstinence. Are we not indeed brutes to call the very act that created us, brutish?
~Montaigne~ Jeg fortsatt elsker deg

Baron

It's a big topic Point out your gem to me, M'Lady.

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HerGuardianAngel

Wow, very good for the first attempt. A lot of the time, I don't care how long a poem is, and I think telling someone about the length is a bit nit-picky. I'm sure people have read poem and think "Good god, girl. Shorten this damned thing." But E.A. Poe has written longer poems, and Dante's Divine Comedy, albeit separate poems, are much longer. Anyway, enough of that. I like poems that make me think, I like poems that are subtle, such as this one. I can tell what's going on, and there's a message behind it, and it takes a little thought to grasp the concept. In a way, I think it's one of the best "cherry popper" (as me and my friends call it) that I've read in a long time. It's far from perfect, however. I believe that the flow is a little... Undulant, meaning it's like an ocean; it waves, and it's a bit choppy. Like you're on a boat and you're riding the waves and all the sudden BOOM, you hit one. I suggest that you chose better words to improve the flow; but if you like it as it is, don't take my advice. Take it or leave it, I suppose.

You Don't Know Me

Thanks everyone! Seriously, I really appreciate the advice. I'm taking a look at a bunch of poetry right now, and HerGuardianAngel, I think you're right - I don't quite like the flow enough. I think I'll keep rhyming though, regardless of any limitations...there's just always been something about rhymes that gets me hooked