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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
06-30-2009, 11:30 AM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
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First Poetry Attempt
Truth In Pain
Wake from the sleep you feign
Life cast away in disillusionment
Pain insane
Tells the truth from the merriment
Revelations that maim
Seperate the actual from the wishful
Pain that pains.
I'll admit it. I was watching House.
Anyway, I've never tried poetry before and I know what I wrote isn't exactly genius, but I desperately want to improve my poetry skills, or, as I'm just starting out, lack thereof. I don't know if this is an acceptable format for poems, or if there's such a thing as an acceptable format for poems. I would really love for someone to explain this to me - I've always been unclear
Last edited by You Don't Know Me; 06-30-2009 at 11:56 AM..
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06-30-2009, 11:55 AM
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#2
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: searching for that crock of gold
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,624
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The best thing that you can do is to read as much poetry as possible by published poets. Here's a link to free e-books by poets ancient and modern:
Free Poetry eBooks e-Books
This is another site that you may find helpful:
modern poetry: its writing and appreciation
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Iraq is a trap, the people were tricked into going there - T.E Lawrence, 1920
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notabilis pro silentium
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06-30-2009, 03:24 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,906
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Another suggestion; try to stay away from rhyming in the beginning. It limits what you can do, what words you can choose.
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07-01-2009, 09:48 AM
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#4
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Back in hell...better known as Texas
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,977
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I don't see how yall can write poetry without rhyming....I thought that poems should rhyme....(sigh) things a girl has to learn to stay up with the big boys......you obviously haven't seen my cute little poem have you, Robert?
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On the one hand Nature urges us on to this desire by associating it with the noblest, most useful, and pleasant of all her acts; and on the other hand she allows us to condemn it and flee from it as from a shameless and immodest deed, to blush at it and recommend abstinence. Are we not indeed brutes to call the very act that created us, brutish?
~Montaigne~ Jeg fortsatt elsker deg
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07-01-2009, 03:37 PM
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#5
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: searching for that crock of gold
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,624
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Quote:
Originally Posted by terrib
I don't see how yall can write poetry without rhyming....I thought that poems should rhyme....(sigh) things a girl has to learn to stay up with the big boys......you obviously haven't seen my cute little poem have you, Robert?
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It's a big topic  Point out your gem to me, M'Lady.
__________________
Quote:
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Iraq is a trap, the people were tricked into going there - T.E Lawrence, 1920
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notabilis pro silentium
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07-02-2009, 12:20 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 8
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Wow, very good for the first attempt. A lot of the time, I don't care how long a poem is, and I think telling someone about the length is a bit nit-picky. I'm sure people have read poem and think "Good god, girl. Shorten this damned thing." But E.A. Poe has written longer poems, and Dante's Divine Comedy, albeit separate poems, are much longer. Anyway, enough of that. I like poems that make me think, I like poems that are subtle, such as this one. I can tell what's going on, and there's a message behind it, and it takes a little thought to grasp the concept. In a way, I think it's one of the best "cherry popper" (as me and my friends call it) that I've read in a long time. It's far from perfect, however. I believe that the flow is a little... Undulant, meaning it's like an ocean; it waves, and it's a bit choppy. Like you're on a boat and you're riding the waves and all the sudden BOOM, you hit one. I suggest that you chose better words to improve the flow; but if you like it as it is, don't take my advice. Take it or leave it, I suppose. 
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07-03-2009, 09:42 AM
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#7
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
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Thanks everyone! Seriously, I really appreciate the advice. I'm taking a look at a bunch of poetry right now, and HerGuardianAngel, I think you're right - I don't quite like the flow enough. I think I'll keep rhyming though, regardless of any limitations...there's just always been something about rhymes that gets me hooked
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